ACCEPTANCE
If the cost of her acceptance is your integrity, Ayn Rand would have called it "sanction of the victim" - General Love.
There's a new "sheriff in town. He is tired of seeing his boys getting their hearts shot up - Unlce Jethro Love.
No. 2 Rule: Never try to keep someone who does not want to keep you - Doc Love.
It's simply amazing what a man will put up with, or go through, to gain a woman's acceptance. In their search for the answer, men are constantly asking themselves, "Can I do this, or can I do that without turning her off ? Can I say this, or can I say that, so she will accept me ?" Even Attila the Hun, the first left-wing extremist, wanted to be accepted by a woman!
If a man knew what a woman wanted, he would be overjoyed to give "it" to her. What man wouldn't ?
But how is he to know, or find out - or does "it" even exist?
(Tom, the protagonist in this book, is an excave man who only thinks of sex and sports, and eating off paper plates. Caprice, whose legs go from the floor to her neck, will play the tormentor in all of the Dating Dictionary's "war stories." She is selfish and only helps the relationship if she makes out - unless, of course, she has high Interest Level (see Truth Triangle) in Tom, then it is his turn.)
Tom knows (instinctively, for once)that he can say or do anything, around his best buddy and his ever-loyal pooch, Fido; he even knows they will love it. He knows that when he makes a fool of himself they will never hold it against him. In fact, no matter what he does, it will never come back to haunt him. Yes, your best friend and Fido really do practice "unconditional love." And they are the only ones who do.
Tom also knows he can't say nor do anything around either Caprice nor her feline, Pussycat! Why? Simple:It's due to the pain and the scratches he has endured. Yes, Women and cats really do have different needs than men and Fido-but what are they?
Is there a method to this madness? Is there a way to get a woman to see you on Mount Rushmore smiling next to Lincoln? Are there undiscovered facts of reality that no one can else explain? Is there a "tried and true" set of rules that will make her accept you?
And even more: make her want to make you the love of her life - forever?
My job is to coach you and show you how she plays the love game, and what she really romantically responds to. Do what I say, and she will want to keep you around for a very long time. I am even going to tell you how to spot a good one from a bad one. But if you like repeating your mistakes from woman to woman, or you would rather listen to your overblown ego, or you are a quitter and will settle for second best, read no more.(I get back one in 200 - you really don't want to be one of those, do you?)
I will be your drill instructor because The "System" is hard to do. I will be your coach in the boxing ring of love - so you can get off the ropes! Why? Because for one reason or another, you have never been told the facts of the love game - or even worse, you have been brainwashed to treat women a way that has only compounded your problem. The Reality Factor says that women in love neither confuse nor reject men.
Everyone forgot to tell you that until a woman stops playing head games, and throws in the towel, you have to convince her that you are the greatest thing since popcorn. (Even better: How about her jumping through hoops for once?)
Doc Love is on a mission from God to save the American male's heart from further destruction. I want to make sure Miss Right accepts him, loves him, and keeps him. Why? Because divorce lawyers should be made homeless. It's time for men to come out of the dark ages, and take control of their lives.
Before we start, I need something of outmost importance; I need your commitment. Without that, I don't want you on this love campaign. Until she decides you are Mr Right, this is a war of the hearts, and I don't want anyone aboard who isn't 100% dedicated to this mission. You have some bad habits I 've to break, but you can do it.
It would be nice to give you a magic potion and tell you everything will be OK, but snake oil doesn't cut it; Only hard work does. There are no freebies in life, just death, takes, and up until now, head games and confusion. It's not going to be easy, so I don't want anyone along who is dragging his feet, or thinking this can be done overnight. I know you have the ability, but do you have the guts and determination to do what is necessary ? Remember, we will be going against the most formidable creature: the American female. You know the one with the chip on her shoulder.
Gentlemen, welcome to Doc love's version of boot camp! If you have any doubts about this cause being just or necessary, remember what your breakups and temporary losses of sanity have cost you. Look at your past dates from hell and the 50 % divorce rate. What about the "good one" who got away? Think of the legal and financial noose that you put around your throat when you, her, and Uncle Sam get hitched - and unhitched. Most of all, think of the kids. Do you want to continue going down loser road, repeating your mistakes playing the stooge, and talking some more falls as you impersonate Mr. Nice Guy? It doesn't fell good, does it, Mr Nice Guy?
Add it all up, and it's not a pretty sight. So, let's make it real simple, guys; do you really want to go through that pain again? Search your soul, brother - it's time for a reality check.
Listen to me, guys - I am the only one who can get you out of this mess!
The "System" is a body of principles and concepts regarding romantic relationships. The "System" works because it is built upon the realities of dating. Your way does not work, because it is based upon emotions, brainwashing, false hope, and wishful thinking. At best it has been hit or miss, or worse ...
You must realice that I'm the only one on your side, because all the other love doctors come from a female perspective. I am the only one you can trust because I'm the only one who has ever talked to you this way. I am also the only one who has soemthing fantastic to offer, but let me warn you, it is not going to be easy.
So what are you going to do? Screw around like you have been, or "just do it" ? you have the combination to the safe in your hands; don't blow this fine opportunity.
The key is, to leave your ego and past out of this. If you will do this, I'll show you how to win the " battle of the hearts." Remember, do all that I say and you will be accepted, loved, and kept by Miss Right.
Have fun guys.
ACTRESS
After the first date it's all downhill - Fast Eddie Love.
Things are always at their best in the beginning - Pascal.
Everything new appears beautiful - Anonymus.
She weighs 116 lb. And you weigh 185 lb., plus you have more muscles(hopefully!). On the outside, it would appear the advantage is yours, but in reality she is the stronger of the species when it comes to love. Why? Because she cheats! She utilizes psychological tactics and strategies that are unbeknowst to rational, logically thinking men.
Acting, which is the fine art of camouflaging through confusion, is her favorite ploy. She could teach the chameleon a trick or two. This small lizard changes its colors to blend in with its surroundings, so it can't be eaten, and conversely, so it can eat. Men were not born with the ability to camouflage their "honest and open feelings". Women can, however, change their feelings or minds about something from one moment to the next. To you Psych majors, this means she can be Joan of Arc one minute, or Sharon Stone the next, without even batting her long eyelashes .
A woman can turn on and off the tears quicker than a Hef's Playmate can disrobe for a camera shoot. To a man, this behavior seems irrational and inconsistent, but what does he know? If he asks her, “Honey, why do you say one thing and then say the exact opposite five minutes later?” She will retort,”I don’t know ehat you are talking about.” That’s why you should save your breath, and never ask.
The key is, to read her actions toward you and under no circumstance take “changing colors” personally. Remember, there is a bright side; you will never get bored!
ADAM(and Eve)
Give me a wonded heart, and I will give you back a believer in The “System” - Reverend Love.
You and I have to go behind the barn, so I can set you straight about this women thing, Boy - Jethro Love.
They, they so called victims, been having a field day on your heart - General Love.
Adam, the first wimp, had his shot, missed it, and its been downhill ever since. Just because a Kim Basinger look-a-like named Eve walked by in her latest birthday suit, he didn’t have to slobber all over himself, and beg to take a bite - of the apple that is! Adam knew they had it made in the garden; no pollution, and the best, no parking enforcement!
What Adam should have said was, “Eve, forget that snake, or forget me.” He might have even tried bluffing. But Adam was”whipped,” and the rest is bad history. You guys must never underestimate the power of a woman, even without a serpent.
The key is, get the “N” (no)word in your vocabulary, and be prepared to use it, tough guy! You know she is going to disagree to test you eventually so let’s get prepared for it. remember, kissing up could cost you a piece of prime property, and put you on the outs with the “one up above!”
ADORING
If Interest Level too high, OK for squaw, but great warrior become boy - Apache proverb.
Love her with everything except words, Grasshopper- Chinese proverb.
They don’t respect bootlickers - Cowboy Saying.
Adoring love has no effect on a woman’s personality compared to a man’s. When her Interest Level shoots the roof, she just delights in it. However, the male goes through a metamorphosis that would even boggle the mind of the first love doctor, Sigmund Freud. To you Psych majors, this means Tom just isn’t the same ol’ guy. It’s as if magic or sorcery transformed him (by a witch?).
This phenomenon happens to men whose Interest Level goes into the danger zone - above 90%. It’s as if Tom is walking around in a daze. When he sees Caprice, he loses all self-control, and acts like putty in her hands. What is worse, this goes on even when she’s not trying to dominate him! He just gazes at her, and waits for his orders as if he was a new recruit in the Marines. Plus poor Tom acts like Samson after the infamous haircut - no oomph.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy for Tom being in love, but when his love goes overboard, he just falls apart. He had better get a grip on himself and pull out of this nose-dive, or he is going to crash and burn his loveplane. Caprice will think his behavior is cute for a while, depending on how high her Interest Level is, but eventually it will fall. Then it’s, “Adios, Tomas.” Why? Tom the dopey is not Tom the man, whom she fell for.
The key is, talk to yourself(not in public)about what a clown you are, and practice self-control! Pretend she has short hair and eats like a defensive lineman (what ever it takes). Remember, it’s a lot safer (and saner) when she does the adoring.
ADULTERY
When they are away from home - Shakespeare.
At work, where there’s smoke, you might get fired. be careful, your Boss might have the hots for her - Sal “The Fish” Love.
One man’s wife is another man’s folly - Anonymous.
A sane woman (my out-clause!) with high Interest Level cannot commit adultery, except for revenge. So don’t give her the ammo. Treat her properly, and she won’t mess around. Give her affection, respect, and romance. Practice confidence, control (not on her - on yourself), and be a Challenge (she does the chasing). To you Psych majors, this means be a man. The “System” is easy to read, and tough to do, but what isn’t in life that’s worthwhile? There is no magic pill, just more practice.
What I find most fascinating about adultery, is how men cannot hide their infidelity (not that I think it’s ever right), while on the other hand, for women, it’s a snap. The male ego could not entertain the idea that his wife could commit adultery. When a woman fools around, and is asked those very private questions, her memory becomes short. The results of the Cosmopolitan poll said,”Nice girls don’t do that.”
Don’t ever think you are getting away with something. She and Pussycat are territorial, and they have a sixth sense in this area (built-in radar) that men have, but don’t utilize. If she decides to go into revenge mode, just think of how many bars are in your town with horny guys who are real lonely. Get the drift?
The key is, don’t get wedded until you’re ready to love only one woman - from here to eternity! Remember, you will never kiss another woman for as long as you live!
AFFECTION
It it works with Pussycat, it will work with her - Fast Eddie Love.
Only Feministas hate affection - Doc Love.
The great question which I have not been able to answer, despite my thirty years in research into the feminine soul, is, "What does a woman want?" - Freud.
Sigmund Freud, the father of the analyst's couch was no stranger in his befuddlement. Generations of men without his credentials have asked the same question, "What does a woman want?" It's ironic that we have all these love doctors charging for advice, when they openly admit they don't understand women. You might as well buy lottery tickets!
In the love game, affection is the female's number one requirement, after respect. If you are affectionate, she will rob banks for you. Hold on to your seat; she will even give up shopping and stay thin! Yes, it's true! Plus, if she ever finds another man attractive, his image will perish immediately from her consciousness! It's great adultery insurance!
Now for the bad part, men don't have inkling what affection is. That's because no one, including women, have ever told them. Only after she has 90+% Interest Level, that rare moment in time when you can do no wrong, do you show her affection.
When you first see each other, and when you leave each other, just hold her in your arms for ten seconds, with no talking or kissing. Just look into her eyes, and try to give the impression that you like it too! It takes practice, but the reward are incomprehensible. It has even been known to cure nagging and obesity!
However, to show true affection, more conditions must be met. Let her initiate contact, and you back off just before she does; that way she will think she is in control (Ha!Ha!). It doesn't work for clean up duty, though. For some strange reason, when she wants to cut your throat, she doesn't want you to touch her! (It doesn't make any sense to me either!)
The key is, that affection, respect, and romance are your maintenace program. They are going to keep her in love with you. Affection is not a prelude to sex. Remember, she loves affection as much her Pussycat loves to purr!
AGE
A man is as old as he feels, and a woman is as old as she looks - Anonymous.
Youth is wholly experimental - Stevenson.
To a mercenary (gold digger), all rich men just need to be breathing - Fast Eddie Love.
The discussion of age is one of a woman’s big no-nos. Guys could care less about how many birthdays they have celebrated, but she is real touchy in this area. To her, she is always too young or too old. And if she is thirty and single, without at least one divorce under her belt, she feels incomplete, in spite of what her Feminista sisters tell her (“You are better off with a mustache” - they should know!). To the unmarried female of 30, it’s as if destiny has cheated her. plus, she has to really hurry if she wants brats.
Next comes crows-feet, and I am not talking about Indians! They are those teeny long cracks around her eyes that she sees as deep and as the mighty Mississip! Fat(which she could control) is another sign of age that she knows is diminishing her looks, yet she would rather graze. Men can claim character and wisdom with age (look at Paul Newman), but all she gets is”May I help you, Ma’am?” by the college hunks working at the ice cream or cookie section of the market.
The key is, replace the word “young” for “old, ” in your vocabulary and never ask her for her age (Why turn off the buyer?). Remember to buy for her birthday a pretty (low-cal) cake, card, and(inexpensive) gift - just be sure and forget the candles!
AGENDA
If you give too much, you can never take it back - Doc Love.
Everyone keeps track, especially women - Fast Eddie Love.
Give her what she needs, not what she says she wants - Rabbi Love.
Caprice told her girlfriend she is going out with Tom for the first time, “Just to see what happens,” Hogwash! Tom, on the other hand, knows that the only reasons he is going out is to raise Caprice’s Interest Level. Taken at face value, what Caprice says sounds fair to an outsider (women always verbalize fairness), but the reasons Caprice is really going out with Tom is because she has 65% Interest Level, and she has to. If Tom manifests confidence, (self) control, and Challenge, all of which “push her buttons,” there will be a second rendezvous. Most guys do not get a second date. What’s your record?
However, in Caprice’s sub-conscious, mush more is going on. Lurking in that sweet, super-fine body and gorgeous mug is a private agenda; a tightly written script of how things are going to be with Tom. Caprice is actually like a “mole,” a double agent; a James Bond working for the former left-wing extremist in Russia!
She will apparently work for the betterment of the partnership, but in reality Caprice is being driven by her agenda. She has big plans for this relationship (ask any unhappily married man), assuming she doesn’t want to unload Tom. But Tom is going to be around a long tim...
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