{699}{755}- Hi.|- Hi. {1369}{1432}Hi. Can I sit here? {1584}{1630}Where were you? {1635}{1689}I couldn't get up. {1694}{1740}It's so hot in here. {2717}{2773}Please be seated. {2820}{2855}Dearly beloved... {2860}{2953}Richard, on the other side,|two rows back, next to the hat. {2958}{3041}- Where?|- Don't look in an obvious way, OK? {3055}{3172}A friend of Karen and Tom will now|read from the Letter to the Corinthians. {3177}{3273}That's Mark Forman.|He writes a column in Washington. {3278}{3319}Is he single? {3324}{3383}He's famous for it. {3388}{3454}Very single. {3486}{3555}"Love is long-suffering and kind. {3560}{3684}"Love does not envy. Love does not|make a vain display of itself {3689}{3806}"and does not boast.|Does not behave itself unseemly. {3811}{3901}"Bears all things, believes all things, {3906}{4022}"hopes all things, endures all things. {4027}{4101}"Love never fails. {4106}{4238}"And now abide faith, hope, love. {4243}{4357}"These three,|but the greatest of these... {4362}{4410}"...is love." {4723}{4797}Two white wines, please. {4928}{4972}Thank you. {4999}{5045}I'm Mark Forman. {5050}{5097}Rachel Samstat. {5102}{5172}I saw you on Meet The Press. {5177}{5226}I read your article about ice-cream. {5231}{5316}I disagree with you about|Haagen-Dazs Rum Raisin. {5321}{5366}What can I say? {5371}{5463}- You were so vicious about it.|- I'm a vicious person. {5468}{5501}That's what I hear. {5546}{5639}Next time you have one of those|food contests down at the magazine, {5644}{5717}I'd like to be a judge. I really would. {5722}{5794}I'll come up from Washington for it. {5827}{5886}Meanwhile... {5891}{5978}...how would you like to go|someplace and have a drink? {6049}{6124}I have to go tell someone|that I'm leaving. {6129}{6217}- You here with a date?|- No. My friend. An editor. {6259}{6298}Excuse me. {6347}{6382}Hi. {6484}{6522}Sorry. {6527}{6569}Here. {6603}{6656}I'm gonna go have a drink with him. {6661}{6701}Fine. {6783}{6848}My wife's name was Kimberley. {6853}{6917}One of the very first Kimberleys. {6978}{7054}My husband had hamsters. {7078}{7154}- Me too.|- Not as a grown-up, you didn't. {7201}{7282}He had hamsters|named Arnold and Shirley. {7296}{7388}And he was always whipping up little|salads for them in the Slice-O-Matic {7440}{7512}and buying them|extremely small sweaters {7517}{7585}at a pet boutique in Rego Park. {7632}{7698}Also, there was a certain amount {7703}{7753}of talking in squeaky voices. {7789}{7830}Both of you? {7835}{7902}Well, he was Arnold... {7951}{8016}...and I was Shirley. {8058}{8136}My sister always used to try|to get me to have one. {8141}{8186}A nose job. {8191}{8233}I love your nose. {8238}{8296}Well, it goes with my face. {8301}{8389}I always say that, but it isn't true. {9021}{9074}You say you love her. {9079}{9138}You can remember her love for you. {9246}{9301}What happened so far? {9360}{9459}She was decapitated|in a dreadful automobile accident. {9464}{9536}That was the exact problem {9541}{9637}her boyfriend was working on|at the laboratory. {9642}{9763}So he carried the head back|in a towel that he had in the car. {9768}{9848}And she wakes up on a tray and says, {9853}{9901}"Where am I? {9906}{9965}"Oh, no, don't tell me. {9970}{10093}"I've been in an awful accident|and lost my arms and legs." {10098}{10143}And he says, {10148}{10215}"Worse than that, I'm afraid." {10390}{10435}This is great. {10455}{10530}So you just go in the kitchen|at four in the morning... {10535}{10606}- Oh, sure.|- And you come back out with this. {10789}{10874}This is the best spaghetti carbonara|I've ever had. {10949}{11008}You're making fun of me. {11013}{11112}You probably think it's very bourgeois|to cook for somebody on the first date. {11117}{11181}You probably think|I do this for everybody. {11209}{11270}Rachel, I love this. {11308}{11386}When we're married,|I want this once a week. {11487}{11550}I'm never getting married again. {11591}{11655}I don't believe in marriage. {11707}{11758}Neither do I. {12398}{12493}Does your sister behave like this|at all her weddings? {12498}{12562}- She's never done this before.|- No? {12567}{12610}Let me go see. {12655}{12725}Thank you. Hi. {12818}{12884}Hi. Hi. {13048}{13112}- Get her already.|- I will, Daddy. {13287}{13356}Rachel, everybody's waiting. {13383}{13432}I don't know what to tell them. {13528}{13583}I don't know, Eleanor. I don't know. {13588}{13658}Mom and Dad were a disaster.|Charlie and I were a disaster. {13663}{13728}Everybody... except for you two. {13760}{13810}How long have you and Harvey|been married? {13815}{13894}- Twelve years.|- And it's a wonderful marriage, isn't it? {13899}{13939}It's OK. {14035}{14101}- The secret is wax paper.|- Wax paper? {14106}{14173}You butter the wax paper|on both sides. {14178}{14311}Then add the chicken just as|you would a normal casserole. {14316}{14392}- Filleted, of course?|- Of course. And not a trace of skin. {14397}{14429}Oh, no, never, never. {14469}{14545}Fifty per cent of all marriages|end in divorce. {14550}{14583}Not second marriages. {14588}{14673}Forty per cent of all second marriages|end in divorce. {14733}{14829}You can't even get a decent bagel|in Washington DC. {14834}{14908}I'll send them to you Federal Express. {14979}{15028}Thank you. {15297}{15397}Julie and Arthur Siegel. We met|in Washington. Mark's oldest friends. {15434}{15478}I hope we're not disturbing you. {15483}{15532}No, no, come in. {15573}{15654}Rachel, we don't know you very well,|but we know Mark. {15659}{15741}20 years. For 20 years|he's been terrible to women. {15746}{15779}Lying, cheating... {15784}{15870}Bringing them to our house for lunch|then leaving them there, vanishing. {15875}{15927}- Until you.|- You're the only person {15932}{15984}he's ever treated decently. {16202}{16260}Your mother would've loved him. {16265}{16298}Yeah. {16303}{16342}But she was crazy. {16347}{16390}That's true. {16451}{16521}Add about four cups of heavy cream. {16526}{16573}- And begin boiling.|- Cream and shallots. {16578}{16623}- Cream and shallots.|- So simple, so far. {16628}{16688}OK, it is done|in approximately 20 minutes. {16714}{16772}You want me to marry him, don't you? {16787}{16833}I don't want you to do anything. {16838}{16904}That is such a lie. {16909}{16986}All you therapists want is for us|to get married and have babies. {16991}{17041}It's the closest|you ever get to a cure. {17046}{17150}I'm just trying to understand why you|don't wanna marry somebody you love. {17177}{17230}Because it doesn't work. {17235}{17275}Marriage doesn't work. {17280}{17346}You know what works? Divorce. {17363}{17430}Divorce is only a temporary solution. {17759}{17811}Let's be sensible. We're happy now. {17816}{17879}If we get married, we'll ruin everything. {17916}{18003}The minute you get married,|you start to drive each other crazy. {18034}{18105}It'll never happen with us. {18110}{18156}Why not? {18173}{18253}Because you already drive me crazy. {18717}{18764}I love you. {18823}{18878}I have to trust you. {19001}{19071}Do you know where your shoes are? {19211}{19259}Do you know? {19363}{19403}I do. {19445}{19516}I know everything about you. {19543}{19604}And it's just the beginning. {20160}{20205}Made it, huh? {20910}{21009}We are here today to celebrate|the marriage of Rachel and Mark {21014}{21083}and their commitment|to a life together. {21088}{21150}Do you, Mark, have this woman|to be your wife, {21155}{21192}to love her, honour her, {21197}{21314}cherish her in joy and in sorrow|for as long as you both shall live? {21319}{21351}I do. {21356}{21418}Do you, Rachel, have this man|to be your husband, {21423}{21516}to love him, honour him,|cherish him in joy and in sorrow {21521}{21570}for as long as you both shall live? {21575}{21614}I do. {21788}{21908}l, Mark Louis Forman, take you, {21913}{22033}Rachel Louise Samstat,|to be my wife, {22038}{22090}to have and to hold, {22095}{22184}to love and to cherish|from this day forward, {22189}{22278}until death part... part us. {22341}{22434}With this ring, I wed thee. {22710}{22766}l, Rachel Louise Samstat, {22771}{22875}take you, Mark Louis Forman,|to be my husband, {22900}{22969}to love and to cherish, {22985}{23078}to have and to hold,|from this day forward, {23093}{23174}until death shall part us. {23183}{23255}With this ring, I thee wed. {23307}{23366}As Mark and Rachel|have decided to marry {23371}{23449}and have promised to be loving|and faithful to each other {23454}{23532}through all the circumstances|life may bring, {23537}{23603}have exchanged rings|as a token of that pledge, {23608}{23685}I declare that they are|husband and wife. {23907}{23974}- I love you.|- I love you. {24417}{24449}Gorgeous little tree. {24454}{24486}- Oh, this white one?|- Yes. {24491}{24523}- No, no.|- What? Which one? {24528}{24598}- The...|- Oh, the sold one. {24670}{24723}Needs a little work. OK? {24945}{25077}Oh, well, we got a good price on it|because they had a sort of a fire. {25149}{25184}Thank you. {25950}{25993}And this... {26036}{26086}...is... {26099}{26157}...why we bought the place. {26173}{26255}It's the... It's the original fireplace. {26312}{26356}What do you think? {26370}{26448}Yeah, you have to use|your imagination. {26453}{26519}It's going to be beautiful. {26524}{26584}Not necessarily in your lifetime. {26928}{27010}It's just that there's no door|to the kitchen. {27015}{27051}The back door. {27056}{27102}The back door. {27107}{27145}Yes. {27159}{27206}It's true. {27211}{27313}You can get into the kitchen... {27347}{27403}...through the back door. {27414}{27474}This, we know is a kitchen. {27479}{27562}But you can't get inside the house|from in the kitchen! {27567}{27605}Now, how the fuck|did this happen?! {27610}{27664}Mark. For God's sake. {27669}{27769}Laszlo,...
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