Walter J. Sheldon - Two Plus Two Makes Crazy.pdf

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Two Plus Two Makes Crazy
Sheldon, Walter J.
Published: 1954
Type(s): Short Fiction, Science Fiction
Source: http://www.gutenberg.org/etext/28894
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Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from Fantastic Uni-
verse March 1954. Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that
the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed. Minor spelling and
typographical errors have been corrected without note.
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THE LITTLE MAN had a head like an old-fashioned light bulb and a
smile that seemed to say he had secrets from the rest of the world. He
didn't talk much, just an occasional "Oh," "Mm" or "Ah." Krayton figured
he must be all right, though. After all he'd been sent to Computer City by
the Information Department itself, and his credentials must have been
checked in a hundred ways and places.
"Essentially each computer is the same," said Krayton, "but adjusted to
translate problems into the special terms of the division it serves."
Krayton had a pleasant, well-behaved impersonal voice. He was in his
thirties and mildly handsome. He considered himself a master of the
technique of building a career in Computer City—he knew how to stay
within the limits of directives and regulations and still make decisions,
or rather to relay computer decisions that kept his responsibility to a
minimum.
Now Krayton spoke easily and freely to the little man. As public liais-
on officer he had explained the computer system hundreds of times. He
knew it like a tech manual.
"But is there any real central control, say in case of a breakdown or
something of that sort?" The little man's voice was dry as lava ash, dry as
the wastes between and beyond the cities. Tanter, was the name he'd giv-
en—Mr. Tanter. His contact lenses were so thick they made his eyes
seem to bulge grotesquely. He had a faint stoop and wore a black tunic
which made his look like one of the reconstructed models of prehistoric
birds called crows that Krayton had seen in museums.
"Of course, of course," said Krayton, answering the question. "It's nev-
er necessary to use the All circuit. But we could very easily in case of a
great emergency."
"The All circuit? What is that?" Mr. Tanter asked.
Krayton gestured and led the little man down the long control bank.
Their steps made precise clicks on the layaplast floor. The stainless steel
walls threw back tinny echoes. The chromium molding glistened, always
pointing the way—the straight and mathematical way. They were in the
topmost section of the topmost building of Computer City. The several
hundred clean, solid, wedding-cake structures of the town could be seen
from the polaflex window.
"The All circuit puts every machine in the city to work on any
selection-problem that's fed into our master control here. Each machine
will give its answer in its own special terms, but actually they will all
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work on the same problem. To use a grossly simple example, let us say
we wish to know the results of two-and-two, but we wish to know it in
terms of total security . That is, we wish to know that two-plus-two means
twice as many nourishment units for the Department of Foods, twice as
many weapons for the Department of War, but is perhaps not necessarily
true according to the current situational adjustment in the Department of
Public Information.
"At any rate, we would set up our problem on the master, pushing the
button Two , then the button Plus , and the button Two again as on a prim-
itive adding machine. Then we would merely throw the All switch. A
short time later the total answer to our problem would be relayed back
from every computer, and the cross-comparison factors canceled out, so
that we would have the result in terms of the familiar Verdict Statement .
And, as everyone knows, the electronically filed Verdict Statements make
the complete record of directives for the behavior of our society."
"Very interesting," said Mr. Tanter, the little crow-like man. He blinked
rapidly, stared at the switch marked All that Krayton was pointing out to
him.
Krayton now folded his hands in front of his official gold-and-black
tunic, looked up into the air and rocked gently back and forth on his
heels as he talked. He was really talking to himself now although he
seemed to address Tanter. "You can see that the Computer System is
quite under our control in spite of what these rebellious, underground
groups say."
"Underground groups?" asked Mr. Tanter mildly. Just his left eye
seemed to blink this time. And the edge of his mouth gave the veriest
twitch.
"Oh, you know," said Krayton, "the organization that calls itself the
Prims. Prim for Primitive. They leave little cards and pamphlets around
damning the Computer System. I saw one the other day. It had a big title
splashed across it: our new tyrant—the computer. The article com-
plained that some of the new labor and food regulations were the result
of conscious reasoning on the part of The Computer. Devices to build the
Computer bigger and bigger and bigger at the expense of ordinary work-
ers. You know the sort of thing."
"But it is true that the living standard is going down all the time, isn't
it?" asked Mr. Tanter, keeping his ephemeral smile. "What about those
three thousand starvation deaths up in Hydroburgh?"
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