bec_vantage_04W.pdf

PA RT ONE

PA RT T WO

• ou are a regional sales manager for an international company. You have been asked to go to a

meeting at your company’s head office. You cannot go, so somebody else will go in your place.

• Write an e-mail to Erica Young, who is organising the meeting:

• apologising for not being able to go to the meeting

• xplaining why you cannot go

• ying who will go.

• Write 40 – 50 words.

• Write on the opposite page.

• ou work for BusinessSpace plc, a company which rents fully serviced offices to other

businesses. You have just received the fax below.

• Look at the fax and the other information below, on which you have already made some

handwritten notes.

• Then, using all your handwritten notes, write a fax in reply to Reinhard Mieter.

• Write 120 – 140 words.

• Write on the opposite page.

FAX

Erica Young

Meeting

TO: BusinessSpace

FROM: Reinhard Mieter

SUBJECT: Renting Office Space

Further to our discussion last week we have now decided to rent office space from you

for the next twelve months:

Requirements

• one office of 10 m 2 , two of 15 m 2 , one of 20 m 2

• must be on same floor

• 40 parking spaces

Please confirm if this office space is vacant in Central Tower.

offer 10%

discount for 18-month

booking

CENTRAL TOWER (CT)

Offices currently vacant

Size m 2

four left, different floors,

no parking – suggest

Opera Place

CT 19

CT 24

OPERA PLACE

Why choose Opera Place?

• 300 parking spaces

• good public transport

connections

• onderful views

CT 53

mention these

benefits

CT 54

OPERA PLACE (OP)

Offices currently vacant

Size m 2

OP 34

OP 39

OP 46

OP 47

OP 48

four same floor

OP 49

WRITING PART 1

CANDIDATE A

I’m really sorry but I’m not able to go to the meeting at our company’s head office. I can’t attend because of

previous arrangements which I can’t change.

Mr Jan Korwalski, a very good worker, will go instead of me.

Please accept my apologies.

Marta Stefanska

EXAMINER COMMENTS

All points covered. Successful attempt at complex language,

for example ‘ I can’t attend because of previous

arrangements ’, ‘ will go instead of me ’. Concise, making a

very positive effect on the reader.

Band 5

CANDIDATE B

Dear Mrs Young

I would like to apologise for not being able to go to meeting at our company’s head office because I will not

be in the country. I am going on the business trip to Italy.

Mr Mark Smith will go instead of me.

Many Thanks

Nadia Johnson

Regional Sales Manager

EXAMINER COMMENTS

All points adequately dealt with. Good range of structure and

vocabulary. Minor non-impeding errors, for example ‘ go to

meeting ’, ‘ on the business trip ’. Positive effect on the reader.

Band 4

Page 53

CANDIDATE C

To: Erica Young

Cc:

Subject: Meeting

Dear Mr Young:

Thanks for your last letter! I’m very glad to be inviated to attend the meeting at your company’s head office.

But first of all, I’m apologising for not being able to go to the meeting. This is due to a error of my agenda,

in fact. I have a international conference that day.

I feel sorry for my absence. I’d like to recommend my personal assistant to go to instead of me. His name is

Jim Green. I hope this will not cause you some trouble.

Best wish yours

Chan Bo Fun

EXAMINER COMMENTS

Generally well organised (although not concise), leading to

a satisfactory effect on the reader. There are, however, some

basic non-impeding errors, for example ‘ a error of my

agenda ’, ‘ cause you some trouble ’.

Band 3

CANDIDATE D

Hello Erica,

I’d like to apologise you, but I can’t attend to this meeting in our head office.

In this time I’m going to London for sales meeting with our customers.

Instead of me, for this meeting will go my sales assistance – Tom

Best regards

Natasha

EXAMINER COMMENTS

A number of errors, but they do not impede communication.

Overall, an adequate attempt at the task.

Band 3

Page 54

WRITING PART 2

CANDIDATE E

Dear Mr Mieter,

Thank you for your order by fax. I’d like to mention that I can offer you 10% discount if you are booking for

18 - month period.

We have 4 offices left in Central Tower as you required but they are on different floors. Also there is no

parking space available at the moment in Central Tower. I can offer you a very interesting alternative in

Opera Place Building:

* 4 offices as you required on same floor

* 300 parking spaces and good public transport connections for your employees

* wonderful views.

Please think about this alternative and the discount I mentioned before. I look forward to hearing from you

soon so I can make the booking.

Yours sincerely,

EXAMINER COMMENTS

All points are covered and developed. Organisation is good,

and the candidate displays a wide range of natural language

and a natural business tone. Errors are minimal.

Band 5

CANDIDATE F

BUSINESS SPACE PLC

FAX

From: Business Space

To: Renver Estates

Attn: Sabrina Korkhau

Attn: Reinhard Mieter

Subject: Renting Office Space.

Mr Mieter, I’ve just received your fax and after searching for different posibilities, this is what I can offer you:

- 10% discount on the total prize if you book our offices for 18 months, could it be interesting for you?

-You asked us for 4 offices in Central Tower and we only have 4 left but placed in different floors and

there are no parking spaces left. Would you mind if I search what you need in Opera Place?

- Opera Place is a big Tower with 300 parking spaces, it has wonderful views to Central Park and the

public transport connections are really good.

- I’ve just checked if we have 4 offices left in Opera Place and for your information we have them now!!

At the same floor and one is 10m 2 , two are 15m 2 and the last one is 20m 2 as you required.

Please let me know if you are interested in this possibity.

Regards

Ms Korkhau

EXAMINER COMMENTS

All content points are achieved, with good organisation.

There is an adequate range of language, and the register and

format are reasonable. The effect on the reader is satisfactory.

Band 3

Page 55

CANDIDATE G

TO: Reinhard Mieter,

Thank you for your fax. And we are glad you have decided to rent office space from us for the next twelve

months. I’d like to inform you that we can offer 10% disscount for 18 - month booking, please confirm

whether you’ll book longer or not.

As requested we couldn’t supply you in Central Tower, since there is no vacancy on the same floor and no

parking either. But I recommend Opera Place, a suitable place as well. There are four in the same floor, and

the sizes are proper. 300 parking spaces are there, which is enough for you. Moreover, public transport

connections here are good as well as wonderful views I hope this change will be convenient for you.

Meanwhile, I am sure you will be satisfied with Opera Place.

I’m looking forward to hearing from you.

sincerely,

EXAMINER COMMENTS

All points are covered. Format, organisation and register are

adequate. There is some attempt at range, for example

’ I hope this change will be convenient for you.’ The errors do

not impede.

Band 3

CANDIDATE H

TO: Reinhar Mieter

FROM: Business Space

SUBJECT: Confirmation

Thank you for have selected us for doing Business. Concerning with the requirements you have specified

in your fax, I would like to inform you than even though there are four Offices vacant there are all of them

in different floors, and moreover there are no parking spaces, However In opera place you could set up

the four offices in the same floor, it would be the four floor also there are still available 300 parking spaces

so in this matter there is no problem. Let me tell you that in this place you can delight a wonderful view to

the sea and this place is relationated with good public transport. and because it is near the sea you can get

easily connections not only internal but abroad as well. So I suggest you to go for opera place Please if

you have any further equiry please do not hesitate in contact me.

EXAMINER COMMENTS

Organisation and range of language are poor. There are

frequent basic errors and the first content point (the offer of a

discount) is missing.

Band 2

Page 56

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