Northern Exposure 311 Dateline, Cicely.txt

[13][37]He's here.
[27][51]Wonderful. I've been counting|the minutes, Marilyn.
[51][77]Who's here?|Morning, Joel.
[77][102]Holling.|Hey, you look terrible.
[102][131]Have a seat. Let's take|a peek under the hood.
[132][150]What's this?
[161][188]Ooh, I.R.S.|Read it.
[189][239]"It has come to our attention|our investigators have determined|you owe the government $9,000."
[240][260]Keep goin'.
[261][298]- Holling, it says here you haven't|paid your taxes since 1959.|- Correct.
[299][331]- 1959?|- Statehood. I voted against it.
[331][361]And what? You've been withholding|taxes as a form of political protest?
[361][404]Well, not exactly.|I figured they'd let me know|if they really needed it.
[405][428]- You never filed a tax return?|- No.
[429][461]I mean, I've been delinquent|once or twice myself,
[462][490]but, um, I don't think|you can get a 32-year extension.
[491][514]Well, I figured something|more like a note.
[514][532]- A note?|- From you.
[533][562]- You mean like a medical excuse?|- There you go.
[563][587]You want me to write|to the Internal Revenue Service,
[588][610]saying you can't pay your taxes|because you aren't feeling well?
[611][653]Well, don't get me wrong.|I mean, I fully intend to pay it,|but not right now.
[653][690]It'll take me a little while|to get up that kind of cash.
[691][709]What do you say?
[1171][1187]Good morning, Cicely. It's 7:02.
[1188][1216]A soggy 34 degrees outside.
[1217][1234]It's time to reach|into the K-Bear mailbag.
[1234][1258]Dave from Mosquito Lake writes:|"Dear Chris in the Morning,"
[1259][1287]"I loved your series on Islam.|How about a transcript?"
[1288][1319]Well, sorry, Dave. There isn't one.|I work without a net, you know.
[1320][1340]I'm glad you liked the series.
[1341][1381]On a personal note, my brother Bernard|drops a note from the Dark Continent:
[1381][1418]"Dear Chris, Africa is all|I dreamed it would be."
[1419][1458]"I trekked up the Usambara Range,"|that's in Tanzania, folks,
[1459][1503]"where I watched the sunrise|and felt the blood of my ancestors|pulse through my veins."
[1503][1544]"Best to all. Kwaheri, Bernard."
[1545][1565]Well, that's something, huh?
[1566][1603]Bernard's out there in the motherland,|hugging the curves down life's highways,
[1604][1636]and yours truly creeps along here...
[1637][1660]at his petty pace, day to day,
[1661][1681]full of sound and fury,
[1681][1717]lots of unnecessary commercial messages.
[1733][1771]Truth is, folks, I've been dragging|my psychic feet lately,
[1771][1815]and it's probably nothing more than your|usual biorhythmic peaks and valleys,
[1816][1869]but there's no getting around the fact|that we all need a pump, you know?
[1870][1901]Something to make us jump up|out of bed in the morning...
[1902][1933]and greet the dawn|with a big old cosmic "Howdy."
[1966][1979]Morning, Dr. Fleischman.
[1979][2004]Hey, wait, wait.|Hold it right there.|What is that?
[2005][2043]This is eggs Florentine,|and this is a seven-grain waffle|with gooseberry syrup.
[2102][2120]Hey, Dr. Fleischman.
[2121][2141]Don't talk|with your mouth full, Ed.
[2141][2175]- That appears to be cheese blintzes|with blueberry sauce?|- Mm-hmm.
[2176][2200]- He's back?|- Mm-hmm.
[2226][2254]No, no, no. You can't drown it!
[2255][2277]It's gotta float.|It's gotta, It's gotta breathe.
[2277][2312]Look, you're not ready for crepes, Dave.|Just go boil some water or something.
[2313][2353]- Hey, Adam.|- Please, okay. That's it.|I'm outta here.
[2353][2380]- Wait. Wait.|What did I say?|- What did you say?
[2381][2410]- Yeah. I came in to...|- To what? To idly interrupt?
[2411][2439]- To annoy beyond reason?|- No. I thought that may...
[2440][2489]What? I suppose you let uninvited|guests barge into your operating room|all the time, huh?
[2490][2509]Mushrooms. I love shiitakes.
[2509][2528]Those are chanterelles,|you moron. Hey!
[2529][2557]- Do you want to die?|- Okay. Okay.
[2558][2577]So what brings you back to Cicely?
[2578][2614]You're right.|Let's try an easier one.|Um, how's Eve?
[2615][2636]She's sick.|Oh, what a surprise.
[2637][2674]- Hey, just watch it, okay?|- She doesn't want to see me, does she?
[2675][2713]Why? Do you have a problem|with that, Doctor? Dave. Dave.
[2780][2798]Presentation.
[2820][2838]Hopeless.
[2840][2866]No. Eve's sciatic nerve|was acting up again.
[2866][2909]Then before you could say "Boo,"|she comes down with a case|of thyroiditis.
[2909][2934]Hmm. She try|a vitamin "B" supplement?
[2934][2967]What a brilliant idea.|Yeah, of course we did.
[2967][2995]With amazing results.|Nothing happened.
[2996][3034]So now she's|at Dr. Chang's clinic.
[3035][3071]Dr. Chang? Dr. M. Chang?
[3083][3112]Well, I'm glad to see you keep up|with the literature, Fleischman.
[3113][3143]I mean, he's only the seminal force|in the field of acupuncture.
[3144][3176]And spare me the A.M.A. party line,|okay? I know all about it.
[3177][3216]If it isn't in|the New England Journal of Medicine,|it never happened for you guys, right?
[3217][3238]I was just gonna ask|where he practices.
[3238][3265]- Hunan, if you must know.|- Hunan as in China?
[3266][3312]- No, Hunan as in North Dakota.|- So Eve is in China?
[3313][3352]What, am I talking to myself?|Yes, Eve is in China.
[3353][3382]I wish I was there with her.|I could be translating cookbooks...
[3383][3408]instead of being interrogated|by some gastronomic pygmy.
[3409][3444]- You read Chinese?|- Cantonese like a native.
[3445][3458]Mandarin still gives me a fit.
[3464][3482]Come on.
[3512][3543]- What does that mean?|- Loosely translated, it means,
[3544][3581]um, "Quick and painless|or slow and lingering?"
[3618][3665]Hey! You! Hold it! What the hell|do you think you're doing?
[3666][3691]- Me?|- Yeah. What have you got|in your hand there?
[3692][3718]- Newspaper.|- That's not just a newspaper.
[3718][3751]That's my newspaper.|The Cicely News & World Telegram.
[3752][3773]I'm sorry.
[3774][3798]Where I come from, people|respect their local newspapers.
[3799][3827]They read 'em. They clip stories.|They discuss 'em.
[3828][3869]They do not use 'em|to clean up after their pets.|Do I make myself clear?
[3870][3901]Yeah, but,|You want clean sidewalks?
[3902][3917]Here.
[3975][3997]Dr. Fleischman gonna|write you that note, hon?
[3998][4028]Says it's creaky.|I suppose he's right.
[4029][4052]Don't worry.|We'll come up with the money.
[4053][4071]How?
[4072][4101]I don't know. I was just|sayin' it to be nice.
[4102][4139]Just hate seeing you drag|that cute nose on the floor, babe.
[4140][4171]Anyway, what's the worst|thing that can happen?
[4172][4222]Well, they could seize the bar,|sell the property, put me in jail.
[4232][4260]- Huh.|- Oh, really?
[4338][4377]All right, listen up.|All of you. Hey!
[4378][4403]Yeah, you.
[4404][4433]Something's been festering under the skin|of this town like an angry boil,
[4434][4458]and I think it's time|we gave it a scratch.
[4459][4485]- How about a clue, Maurice?|- Case in point.
[4485][4518]Ruth-Anne, what is that|you're reading, dear?
[4519][4544]The Christian Science Monitor.
[4544][4585]Uh-huh. Well, you know|we have a paper in this town.
[4586][4628]But rather than support|our local news organ,
[4628][4670]some people would prefer to use it|as a sponge to mop up spilled decaf.
[4671][4724]- We've got a problem here, people.|- The problem, Maurice, is that|your paper is a major snooze.
[4725][4747]You think the New York Times|is a joyride?
[4748][4788]You think people read the New York Times|because they like to?
[4789][4827]No, no. People read the New York Times|because they feel like they ought to.
[4827][4848]- Isn't that right, Fleischman?|- Oh, phooey.
[4849][4877]There's nothing to write about|around here, and you know it.
[4877][4922]Oh, you think things are|too uneventful here in the borough|of Arrowhead County, huh?
[4923][4941]Well, yes, I do.
[4942][4966]Well, let me tell you about a little item|in the New York Times today.
[4967][5001]It's about the Village Sentinel|in Duxbury, Vermont,
[5002][5035]a thriving metropolis of 900 souls.
[5036][5082]They have been nominated|for a Pulitzer prize. Why?
[5103][5115]Ticks.
[5127][5171]My paper has ticks.|My paper has bugs of all kinds.
[5172][5199]Show of hands.|How many of you read the article...
[5200][5228]on mosquito abatement program|in Loon Lake?
[5252][5281]See? That's just my point.
[5293][5334]A great newspaper|needs a great reading public.
[5369][5399]We've all got to pull|our own weight here, people.
[5423][5441]End of story.
[5478][5508]Hey there, Chris.|Hey, Holling. Come on in.
[5525][5545]Another postcard from Bernard?
[5545][5582]Yeah. He's in Sierra Leone now.|Northwest coast, below Guinea.
[5582][5622]- That's an adventure.|- Got a rash. Nothing serious.
[5633][5654]Uh, maybe this is not a good time.
[5654][5682]No, no, no. I'm sorry, Holling.|What's up, buddy?
[5683][5724]Well, not too much.|I owe Uncle Sam, uh, $9,000.
[5725][5744]Ooh. Back taxes?
[5745][5791]I have never asked anyone|for cash before, Chris, but, uh,|those government boys can be rough.
[5792][5811]- How much you need?|- Well, it's no secret.
[5812][5848]With your inheritance, you're|the only fella around who's liquid,|other than Maurice.
[5849][5879]Now, there was a time|when I could've asked him,
[5879][5904]No, no, no. Full amount,|five percent interest, Holling.
[5905][5936]- No. Hold on a minute.|I'm not talking about a loan.|- You're not?
[5937][5979]No. I don't believe in debt.|What a man can't pay for,|he can't own.
[5980][6002]No, this is a business investment.
[6003][6034]One-half interest in The Brick|for $9,000.
[6035][6055]Me? Own half of your bar?
[6056][6091]Well, it's a good offer. I had th...