[7][42]Ed, it was three on his right|and two on his left. [43][87]No, Chris, it was definitely|one on his left. [88][129]Holling, how many toes|did Marty Sorenson lose|that time he got frostbite? [130][165]Well, let's see.|It was one on his left|and two on his right, wasn't it? [166][193]Well, I don't believe it. [193][212]- Hello, Edna.|- Holling. [213][232]- Been a while.|- Yes, it has. [232][259]Fellas, you know Edna Hancock. [260][284]Lives over next to Maurice. [285][303]Well, almost next to him. [304][333]What is it, four miles|from door to door? [334][363]- Five.|- Maurice has his 15,000 acres, [364][390]- and you have what, Edna, 10?|- Twelve. [391][411]12,000 acres. My gosh. [412][431]It's good to see ya. [432][474]I think I still have|some of that single malt you like. [474][495]Nobody calls for this very often. [496][520]- Make it a double?|- Too late for that. [521][554]- I beg your pardon?|- Too late for single malt, Holling. [555][574]Too late for a lot of things. [574][616]- I don't follow you.|- I'm running for mayor, Holling,|against you. [617][635]- Why?|- Why? [636][668]Five years ago,|you could have given me|a stop sign. [669][687]Now it's too late|for that too. [688][726]- Five years ago?|- I was sitting right here.|You said you'd look into it. [727][749]But you didn't now,|did you? [749][776]Well, I must have|forgotten is all, Edna. [776][800]Well, it won't happen again. [801][819]See you on election day. [1299][1332]Friends, Romans, registered voters,|lend me your ears. [1333][1375]Holling Vincoeur has picked up the gauntlet|thrown down by Edna Hancock. [1376][1397]We have a mayoralty race, folks. [1398][1432]To which I can only add,|alea jacta est. [1432][1455]The die is cast,|the battle is joined. [1456][1496]Hold on to your hats, Cicely.|We're about to bear witness|to that sacred rite, [1497][1526]when each and every one of us|become acolytes... [1527][1560]before the altar of the ballot box,|our secular shrine. [1561][1590]Fellow Cicelians,|my heart is pounding, [1590][1612]dancing to the drum|of a free people, [1612][1646]a city on a hill,|e pluribus unum. [1646][1685]I feel at one with Whitman,|shepherd of the great unwashed: [1686][1708]"O democracy,|near at hand to you..." [1709][1757]"a throat is now inflating itself|and joyfully singing." [1758][1787]What exactly am I supposed|to be looking for? [1787][1814]It's not jumping up and down? [1815][1838]Not presently. [1839][1863]Well, this morning when I woke up|and looked in the mirror, [1863][1888]it was like I just killed|this deerfly, you know,|but it wasn't dead yet, [1889][1907]and its wings were|still flapping around. [1908][1947]I believe what you've|just described is a facial tic.|Watch my finger. [1964][1992]Okay, a facial tic|is a brief, involuntary contraction|of a muscle group. [1993][2013]- You ever have one before?|- Never. [2014][2032]It's usually the result|of nervous tension. [2033][2056]Have you been experiencing|any unusual stress lately? [2056][2075]- A lot.|- Yeah? [2076][2098]The stress is related to?|Oh, the election. [2099][2118]- The election?|- Yep. [2119][2162]- This election?|- Yeah. You see, I've never had|a chance to vote before, Dr. Fleischman. [2163][2182]It's a pretty big responsibility. [2183][2202]Well, normally I'd agree|with you, Ed, [2202][2242]but in this case, I mean,|it's nothing more than|a grudge match over a stop sign. [2243][2261]- Two stop signs.|- Two? [2262][2297]Yeah, you see, Edna wants a stop sign|to slow down those lumber trucks... [2298][2319]as they come around the curve|near her house. [2319][2350]See, they hit the brakes,|then they work through all the gears. [2351][2371]- It's noisy and keeps her awake.|- Wait a minute. [2372][2401]There's no intersection?|She wants a stop sign|where there's no intersection? [2402][2420]Yeah, but she needs two. [2421][2466]You see, last night I was thinking,|a "Prepare To Stop" and then a "Stop." [2466][2485]I couldn't get back to sleep. [2486][2504]I can see where|that might keep a person awake. [2505][2533]- Oh, yeah.|- Look, Ed. [2534][2570]Until yesterday,|I didn't know Holling was mayor.|I didn't even know there was a mayor. [2571][2591]How important can a job be|if no one knows it exists? [2592][2610]Well, there's|a special parking place. [2611][2640]- A what?|- You know, the reserved sign|out in front of Ruth-Anne's store. [2641][2669]- Oh, that's what that's for?|- Yeah, it's for the mayor. [2670][2704]- But everyone parks there.|- Well, yeah, but they all know|it's for the mayor. [2705][2731]And that doesn't even include|all the other special perks. [2732][2757]- Like what?|- Well, like the annual|date book, [2758][2791]the stamp,|the official stationery. [2792][2816]Oh, it's pretty|intoxicating stuff. [2817][2872]Yeah. Holling has been|the mayor of Cicely,|well, ever since I was born. [2872][2901]Well, look, I appreciate|the history involved here, [2902][2935]but, um, it's not like an election|is a once-in-a-lifetime event. [2936][2956]Well, there's never been|one here before. [2957][2978]What do you mean? [2979][3007]Well, everyone's just always|wanted Holling to be mayor, [3007][3037]so, well, Holling's|always just been mayor. [3038][3066]You mean there's never|been a vote? [3067][3094]- Ever?|- Nope. [3095][3127]Unbelievable.|I've discovered the Brigadoon|of electoral politics. [3128][3151]So what am I gonna do now,|Dr. Fleischman? [3152][3178]- About what?|- My tic. [3179][3215]Well, vote.|It should clear up Tuesday. [3216][3241]Hell, I never asked for the job. [3242][3271]- I never asked to be mayor.|- I know. [3272][3315]People asked me.|I wasn't looking for|power and glory. [3315][3363]I couldn't have cared less.|But still, all in all, I think|I did a pretty decent job. [3363][3390]You've done a dynamite job, babe. [3391][3438]Did I ask Edna Hancock|to build her house|near a major thoroughfare? [3439][3476]I've known the woman|since the first day|she set foot here 25 years ago. [3477][3509]Never in all of that time|has an unkind word|passed between us. [3510][3535]But let me forget one thing,|she turns on me, [3536][3558]like a grizzly smelling blood|on the wind. [3558][3577]- Holling?|- What? [3578][3624]I know you've got power|and greed and ambition|on your mind, and that's cool. [3624][3658]It's more than cool.|It's a total turn-on. [3658][3692]But see if you can't fit some time|for you and me to slide around. [3693][3746]All this wheeling and dealing|is making my knees like Jell-O. [3747][3771]- One-eyed jack.|- Excuse me, Shelly. [3798][3825]- May I ask you something, Maggie?|- Fire away, Ed. [3826][3855]Okay. In an election,|how do you know|who to vote for? [3855][3875]Hmm. Well, it's|kind of complicated. [3875][3906]First, read the literature.|Then listen to the speeches. [3907][3925]But eventually,|you just have to go with your gut. [3926][3942]My gut. [3942][3967]Look each candidate|in the eye, you know, [3967][4005]and try to figure out|which one is least likely|to become an unprincipled sleaze bucket. [4006][4035]That's totally ridiculous, O'Connell.|You vote for a strong leader, [4036][4057]someone who|represents your views. [4058][4089]- Excuse me?|- I don't have any views. [4090][4129]Well, in that case, you fall back|on your candidate's party affiliations. [4130][4154]Okay.|What are they? [4155][4174]Well, are you a Democrat|or a Republican, Ed? [4175][4209]I don't know.|What are you, Dr. Fleischman? [4209][4244]Well, I like to think of myself|as a guilt-free thinker, but, in fact,|I mostly vote Republican. [4245][4274]- Figures.|- What is that supposed to mean? [4275][4297]Oh, nothing.|Just another in a long line|of disappointments, I suppose. [4297][4322]But I guess it goes along|with argyle socks and the golf clubs. [4323][4345]Oh, great. Nothing like getting|beneath the surface, O'Connell. [4346][4376]You sound a little defensive, Fleischman.|What's the problem?|I touched a nerve? [4377][4402]I'm not defensive.|I happen to be very proud|of my political position. [4403][4425]I think it takes a lot of guts|to voice the unfashionable, [4426][4448]to go against the tide|of one's peers. [4449][4485]Do you realize how many Republicans|live on the Upper West Side?|Yeah, you're lookin' at him. [4486][4522]Yeah, well, it takes a lot of guts|to cut programs for the poor|and give tax breaks to the rich. [4522][4565]Oh, spare me the bleeding heart.|At least I don't vote out of some misplaced|sense of guilt over growing up with money. [4565][4591]Fleischman, you don't even know|what you're talking about.|My parents are Democrats. [4591][4617]- We are very pro-labor.|- Right. I'm sure|you spent your weekends... [4617][4639]at the Grosse Point Country Club|discussing minimum wage. [4640][4670]Well, you know, it's obvious|you're running from your,|your working-class background... [4671][4691]and trying to pass yourself off|as something you're not. [4691][4715]I'm not running from anything.|But I got news for you|and your liberal suburban friends. [4716][4746]There's nothing special|or particularly ennobling|about not having money. [4747][4782]- Me, me, me. My, my, my.|- Self-interest isn't a crime, O'Connell. [4783][4802]I worked my butt off|to be a doctor. [4802][4837]I didn't spend four years in medical school,|one year in internship|and two years in residency... [4838][4878]just to be plugged into some system|of socialized medicine that tells me|what I can and cannot charge. [4879][4914]Yeah, when my sentence is up,|I plan to go home and charge|whatever the market will bear. [4914][4940]Yeah, I want|my piece of the pie.|I want my money. [4941][4964]Yeah, a self-serving,|materialistic pig. [4975][4994]Self-serving Repu...
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