The Proof Is in Your Pants
You may already have experienced multiple orgasms. Surprising as this may sound, many men are multi-orgasmic before they enter adolescence and begin to ejaculate. Kinsey’s research suggested that more than half of all preadolescent boys were able to reach a second orgasm within a short period of time and nearly a third were able to achieve five or more orgasms one after the other. This led Kinsey to argue that "climax is clearly possible without ejaculation."
But multiple orgasms are not just limited to prepubescent boys. Kinsey continues: "There are older males, even in their thirties and older, who are able to equal this performance." In Fundamentals o Human Sexuality, Dr. Herant Katchadourian adds: "Some men are able to inhibit the emission of semen while they experience the orgasmic contractions: in other words they have nonejaculatory orgasms. Such orgasms do not seem to be followed by a refractory period [loss of erection], thereby allowing these men to have consecutive or multiple orgasms like women.
Why do most men lose their ability to be multi-orgasmic. It is possible that for many men the experience of ejaculating, when it happens, is so overwhelming that it eclipses the experience of orgasm and causes men to lose the ability to distinguish between the two. One multi-orgasmic man described the first time he ejaculated: "I still remember it clearly. There I was orgasming as usual, but this time a white liquid came spurting out. I thought I was dying. I swore to God that I would never masturbate again – which of course lasted about a day." Since orgasm and ejaculation generally occur within seconds of one another, it is easy to confuse them.' To become multi-orgasmic, you must learn (or possibly relearn) the ability to separate the different sensations of arousal and to revel in orgasm without cresting over into ejaculation. Understanding how orgasm and ejaculation are different will help you distinguish the two in your own body.
Brain Waves and Reflexes
Orgasm is one of the most intense and satisfying human experiences, and if you have ever had an orgasm – and almost all men have – you will not need to have it defined. All orgasms, however, are not created equal. Orgasm is slightly different for each person and even different for the same person at different times. Nonetheless, men’s orgasms share certain characteristics, including rhythmic body movements, increased heart rate, muscle tension, and then a sudden release of tension, including pelvic contractions. They feel good, too. After noting that "orgasm is the least understood of the sexual processes," the thirteenth edition of Smith's General Urology explains that orgasm includes "involuntary rhythmic contractions of the anal sphincter, hyperventilation [increased breathing rate], tachycardia [increased heart rate], and elevation of blood pressure."
These definitions include changes that occur throughout your entire body. However, for a long time orgasm was seen – and for many men is still seen – as strictly a genital affair. In the West, William Reich, in his controversial book The Funcion of Orgasm, was the first to argue that orgasm involved the whole body and not just the genitals. In the East, the Taoists have long known that orgasm could be a whole-body experience and developed techniques for expanding orgasmic pleasure.
Many sex researchers are now arguing that orgasm really has more to do with our brain than our brawn. Brain-wave research is beginning to reveal that orgasm may occur primarily in the brain. That you can have an orgasm in your sleep – without any bodily touch – seems to confirm this theory. Further support comes from neurologist Robert J. Heath of Tulane University, who discovered that when certain parts of the brain are stimulated with electrodes they produce sexual pleasure identical to that produced by physical stimulation. Many sex therapists are fond of saying that sex takes place in the brain. There is some truth to this statement – especially when it comes to orgasm.
Unlike orgasm, which is a peak emotional and physical experience, ejaculation is simply a reflex that occurs at the base of the spine and results in the ejection of semen. Michael Winn, senior Healing Tao instructor and coauthor of Taoist Secets of Lowe: Cultivating Male Sexual Energy, explains: "A lot of men are freaked out by the very idea of nonejaculatory orgasm because they’ve been having ejaculatory sex for such a long time, often decades. So the first thing to do is demystify ejaculation, which is just an involuntary muscle spasm."
With practice, you can learn to experience the peak feeling of orgasm without triggering the reflex of ejaculation. In the next two chapters we will explain, step-by-step, exactly how to separate orgasm from ejaculation and how to expand your orgasms throughout your body. But first let’s look at the evidence that men, like women, can have multiple orgasms.
Prove It
Probably the most extensive laboratory investigation of male multiple orgasms was made by sex researchers William Hartman and Marilyn Fithian. They tested thirty-three men who claimed to be multi-orgasmic – that is, to be able to have two or more orgasms without losing their erection.
While these men had sex with their partners in the laboratory, Hartman and Fithian monitored their heart rates, which the researchers had chosen as the clearest method of identifying orgasms. At rest, the average heart rate is around 70 beats per minute; during orgasm it almost doubles, rising to about 120. After orgasm, the heart returns to its resting rate (see figure 1). They also measured pelvic contractions (most obvious in the involuntary squeezing of the anus), which coincided with the peaking of heart rate at orgasm. What they found was pretty surprising: the arousal charts for these men were identical to those of multi-orgasmic women.
Male and female sexuality may be more similar than is usually thought. Developmentally, this similarity makes sense, since male and female genitals come from the same fetal tissue. In their famous book The G Spot and Other Recent Discoveries About Human Sexuality, Alice Ladas, Beverly Whipple, and John Perry argued that male and female sexuality were almost identical. In addition to their much-reported discovery of the female "G spot" (which we will discuss more in chapter 4), they also suggested that men can experience multiple orgasms just like women.
During Hartman and Fithian's research, the average number of orgasms a multi-orgasmic man had was four. Some men had the minimum of two, and one had as many as sixteen! In a study by clarion Dunn and Jan Trost, most men reported having from two to nine orgasms per session.
It is important to mention here that Taoist sexuality is not about numbers and keeping score, it is about satisfaction and cultivation. You can feel satisfied with one orgasm, with three orgasms, or with sixteen orgasms. You cultivate your sexuality as you deepen your an awareness of your body's pleasure and increase your ability for intimacy with your partner. Each person and each sexual experience will be different, and the "right" number of orgasms will depend on your and your partner’s desires at the time. When you become multi-orgasmic, you will never have to worry about how long you can last or how many orgasms your partner has, because you will both be able to have all the orgasms you could ever want.
Figure 1 - AROUSAL CHART FOR MULTI-ORGASMIC MAN
The Little Death
As doctors, the Taoist masters were interested in sexuality as part of a larger concern for the health of the entire body. They practiced Sexual Kung Fu because they discovered that ejaculation drains a man’s energy. You have probably also noticed this loss of energy and general feeling of fatigue after ejaculating. Even though you would like to be attentive to your partner’s sexual and emotional needs, all your body wants to do is sleep. As one multi-orgasmic man put it, "Once I ejaculate, the pillow looks better than my girlfriend does."
The image of the unsatisfied woman whose lover ejaculates, grunts, and collapses on top of her is so common that it has become a cultural joke, but the exhaustion that men feel after ejaculating is as old as the first coital groan. Peng-Tze, a sex adviser to the famed Yellow Emperor, reported almost five thousand years ago: "After ejaculating, a man is tired, his ears buzz, his eyes are heavy, and he longs for sleep. He is thirsty and his limbs feel weak and stiff. In ejaculating he enjoys a brief moment of sensation but then suffers long hours of exhaustion."
Western folk wisdom agrees with the Taoists regarding the importance of conserving sexual energy. Athletes have long known the weakness and lethargy that follow ejaculation, abstaining from sex the night before the "big game." Artists have also felt the lingering effects on their work. Jazz musician Miles Davis explained in a Playboy magazine interview:
Davis: You can't come, then fight or play. You can’t do it. When I get ready to come, I come. But I do not come and play.
Playboy: Explain that in layman's terms.
Davis: Ask Muhammad Ali. If he comes, he can’t fight two minutes. Shit, he couldn’t even whip me.
Playboy: Would you fight Muhammad Ali under those conditions, to prove your point.
Davis: You’re goddamn right I’d fight him. But he’s got to promise to fuck first. If he ain’t going to fuck, I ain’t going to fight. You give up all your energy when you come. I mean, you give up all of it! So, if you’re going to fuck before a gig, how are you going to give something when it’s time to hit?
Miles wasn’t exactly a romantic, but he didn’t mince words, either. As one of the world’s greatest trumpet players, he knew how ejaculating decreased his stamina and depleted his art. Unfortunately, like most men, he didn’t know that he could have had sex all he wanted, even have orgasmed, before any gig – as long as he didn’t ejaculate. It might have even improved his "hitting."
Although the effects of ejaculating may be more obvious to professional musicians and prizefighters, all men eventually experience the same depletion from coming – which might more appropriately be called going. According to one multi-orgasmic man, "I really notice it in the morning if I ejaculate. I get up dragging my feet and I am tired by noon. When I have multiple orgasms without ejaculating, I wake up refreshed and I need less sleep." Another man who was recovering from a chronic illness explained: "My sexual desire has always been strong, so I ejaculated often, once or twice a day. And with every ejaculation my health got worse and worse because I was losing a lot of energy." Many men, especially young men, may not notice this feeling of depletion at first unless they ejaculate when they are sick or working hard.
In the West, we assume that ejaculation is an inevitable culmination of male arousal and the end of lovemaking. In China, however, doctors long ago saw what the French call le peit mort – "the little death" of ejaculation – as an avoidable betrayal of male pleasure and a dangerous depletion of male vitality.
DON JUANS, MONKS, AND MULTI-ORGASMIC WORMS
In a front-page story on December 3, 1992, the New York Times reported startling scientific research that seems to confirm the ancient Taoist insight about the toll that sperm production takes on a man's body. "These results are the last thing I had expected when I started doing the experiment," said Wayne Van Voorhies of the University of Arizona. "They were so startling that I did the work over four times to make sure I got it right. They basically say a lot of our preconceived notions [about male sexuality] just do not hold."
Dr. Van Voorhies was studying simple but revealing worms called nematodes. What, you may ask, do worms have to do with your sexuality'. Well, these nematodes are not just your everyday, garden-variety worms. "The genes and biochemical processes nematodes use," explains Dr. Philip Anderson of the University of Wisconsin, "are the same as those that humans and other mammals use." In scientific studies, nematodes are frequently used in place of human subjects.
Dr. Van Voorhies tested three kinds of male worms. The first group of worms was allowed to mate at will, which required frequent sperm production. On average, these Don Juan worms lived only 8.1 days. (Nematodes, in general, don’t live very long.) The second group of worms was not allowed to mate at all. These, shall we say, monastic worms lived an average of 11.1 days. But even more startling, the third group, the multi-orgasmic worms that did not constantly have to produce sperm but were allowed to mate at will, lived close to 14 days – over 50 percent longer than the worms that needed to continually produce sperm!
The Times concluded: "The new work suggests that ceaseless sperm production takes its toll on a male, perhaps requiring the use of complex enzymes or biochemical processes that have harmful metabolic byproducts." The Times goes so far as to suggest that "the difference in life span between men and women just may be linked to sperm production. Women on average live about six years longer than men." There are other theories to explain the disparity in life expectancy between men and women, including differences in lifestyle and in hormones. Whether or not the production of sperm actually shortens your life, it certainly saps your strength.
Over two thousand years ago – long before experiments on nematodes – the Taoists described the importance of not ejaculating in the Discourse on the Highes Tao Under Heaven: "If a man has intercourse without spilling his seed, his vital essence is strengthened. If he does this twice, his hearing and vision are made clear. If three times, all his physical illness will disappear. The fourth time he will begin to feel inner peace. The fifth time his blood will circulate powerfully. The sixth time his genitals will gain new prowess. By the seventh his thighs and buttocks will become firm. The eighth time his body will radiate good health. The ninth time his life span will be increased." Ancient texts exaggerate to make their point, and it is unlikely that the above benefits occur in this exact order or at the exact specified time. However, it is clear that Taoists have long known the importance of conserving semen.
PROGENY AND PLEASURE
Looking at the simple arithmetic of sperm production helps explain the reason that ejaculation can be so taxing on your body. An average ejaculation contains 50 to 250 million sperm cells. (Theoretically speaking, if each sperm fertilized an egg, one to five ejaculations could repopulate the United States!) Every single one of those sperm cells is capable of creating half of an entire new human being. Any factory that produces 50 to 250 million products needs raw material, and in this case the raw material is you. Although your body produces a large amount of sperm each day, the value of this sperm should not be underrated. If your body does not need to replenish this sperm, according to the Tao, it is able to use this energy to strengthen your body and your mind. In the Taoist practice, this energy is used to improve your health, creativity, and spiritual growth.
Every time you ejaculate, your body assumes that it is getting ready to create a new life. According to the Tao, all of the organs and glands in your body give their best energy, what is called orgasmic energy. In many species, once this energy has been given, once the seed has been lost, the body of the animal starts to deteriorate. Salmon, for example, die soon after they spawn. Anyone who has spent time gardening knows that plants die or become dormant once they give their seed. Plants that are kept from going to seed live longer than those that are not. Though, luckily for us, we do not die after ejaculating, Taoists know that we are part of nature and that we must understand nature’s laws.
According to Sexual Behavior in the Human Male (popularly known as the Kinsey Report), an average man ejaculates about five thousand times during his lifetime; some men ejaculate many, many more times. During the course of an average man’s sex life (and this includes time spent locked in the bathroom), a man ejaculates 1 trillion sperm. Assuming that some of this ejaculation happens with a partner, the chances of his passing on his genetic code are pretty good. Most of the time, however, when we make love – not for progeny, but for pleasure – there is no need to spill our seed and deplete our bodies. So, if you make love only when you want to conceive a child, you will not need to practice Sexual Kung Fu. If, however, you want to have a multi-orgasmic and healthy sex life, read on.
Know Thyself
Exploring your body and understanding your arousal rate are essential to becoming multi-orgasmic. The best lovers are aware of both their own and their partner’s desires. In the chapter "Know Your Partner", we discuss how to satisfy your partner’s desires, but first you must learn how to satisfy your own. In this chapter, we begin by briefly describing the basic facts about your sexual anatomy, your energy, your arousal, your ejaculation, and your orgasms. Then we offer some ideas for exploring your full potential for pleasure.
Your Body
PENIS
When most men think about their sexuality, they think about their penis. This is a logical place to start, since it is the most obvious part of our sexual anatomy. Strangely, there is still a lot of mystery and misinformation about this seemingly simple organ. To begin with, there are no bones or muscles, you cannot enlarge it like your biceps – sorry. However, two or three inches of the penis is rooted inside the body in the pubococcygeus (pronounced PEW-bo-cox-uh-GEE-us) muscle – often just called the PC muscle – and it is possible, as we explain in the next chapter, to strengthen this muscle for stronger erections, stronger orgasms, and better ejaculatory control.
Since many men are concerned with the size of their penis and some are now even having penis-enlargement operations, we should take a moment to discuss the subject. Throughout human history, men have made many attempts to expand their so-called manhood – even the Taoists had their method, which we describe in chapter 8. But the truth is that the size of your erection is much less important than its strength and what you do with it. If you practice Sexual Kung Fu, you will have ample confirmation that your are "man enough" for any woman. If you are still concerned about the size of your penis, take a moment before running out to a plastic surgeon and read the section in chapter 8 called "Please Sir, May I Have Some More: Enlarging Your Penis."
TESTICLES
Most men know that their sperm is produced in their testicles and may also know that normal body temperature is too hot for sperm production. (This is why tight underwear that keeps your testicles close to your body can lower your sperm count.) Your testicles, however, are pulled into the body as they prepare to ejaculate. Pulling the testicles down away from the body, which we describe below, is one age-old technique for postponing ejaculation.
The vas deferens is a firm tube that extends from the testes to the prostate gland (see figure 2). Sperm move through this tube to the upper end, where they mix with secretions from the seminal vesicles and the prostate just before ejaculation. The secretions from the prostate constitute about one-third of your ejaculate and are responsible for its whitish color. The sperm are only a small part of the ejaculate, which is why a man who has had a vasectomy ejaculates about the same amount of fluid as he did before the operation.
Figure 2 - MAN'S SEXUAL ANATOMY
PROSTATE
The prostate is a gland that lies at the center of your pelvis, just behind the pubic bone, and just above the perineum (pronounced pear-ah-NEE-um). Most men have heard about the prostate only in connection with the dreaded and widespread prostate cancer, which occurs in approximately one in eleven American men. A healthy prostate is important for avoiding prostate cancer and for your long-term sexual well-being. You can help keep your prostate healthy and possibly reduce your risk of prostate cancer by doing the pelvic Sexual Kung Fu exercises suggested here and by massaging your prostate regularly. If you have prostate trouble or want to avoid having prostate trouble in the future, see the section called "My What? Preventing and Helping Prostate Problems".
The prostate, like the G spot for women, is often highly sensitive to sexual stimulation. It has in fact been called "the male G spot." The authors of The G Spot concluded; "In men there is an orgasm triggered by the penis and one by the prostate." Men report that prostate orgasms are quite different from penile orgasms, emotionally as well physically. The authors of The G Spot suggest that this is equivalent to the difference women experience between clitoral and vaginal orgasms.
Like a woman’s G spot, the prostate becomes increasingly sensitive to erotic stimulation as the man becomes aroused and approaches orgasm. This is why a prostate checkup at the doctor is quite different from prostate stimulation in bed with your lover. (You and your partner should remember that the body becomes engorged from front to back, so partners should wait until a man is highly aroused before attempting prostate stimulation.)
You can stimulate your prostate externally through your perineum at your Million-Dollar Point (more about this spot later in the chapter) or more directly through your anus. It is not always easy to reach by yourself if you are not very limber. Generally, the best position is lying on your back, either with your knees bent and your feet on the bed, or with your knees against your chest. In this position, you can insert a (well-lubricated) finger, curl it forward, and touch your prostate. You should feel something the size of a walnut an inch or two inside on the anterior (front) wall of your rectum. Gently rub the prostate back and forth. You can also thrust in and out at different speeds, which will also stimulate the highly sensitive nerves around your anus. If your partner is willing, she can do the same, but from a slightly easier angle. (Make sure your or your partner’s nails are short.) If either you or your partner is not interested in venturing inside your anus, you can stimulate the anal sphincter and/or the perineum, which will also stimulate the prostate.
When prostate stimulation brings you to ejaculation, the fluid generally comes flowing out instead of spurting out. Keep in mind that this stimulation is very deep and very intense; as a result, it is even more difficult to control your arousal rate with prostate stimulation than it is with genital stimulation. So go slowly, and try not to push yourself over the edge.
PERINEUM
The perineum is an essential sexual landmark and was called 'he Gate of Life and Death" by the Taoists. Its role in preventing ejaculation was a closely guarded secret. On the perineum just in front of the anus is the Million-Dollar Point, named to suggest its value to Sexual Kung Fu (see figure 2). This spot was originally called the Million-Gold-Piece Point (they didn’t have dollars back in ancient China), because that is supposedly what it cost you to have a Taoist master teach you its exact location. (The ancient Taoist masters were holy men, but they also had to make a living.) In the next chapter, we discuss the role of the Million-Dollar Point in helping you control your ejaculation.
SEX MUSCLES
The pubococcygeus, or PC muscle, is a group of important pelvic muscles that run from your pubic bone ("pubo") in the front to your tailbone or coccyx ("coccygeus") in the back. These muscles form the basis of your sexual health and are essential for your becoming multi-orgasmic. In the following chapter we will describe exercises to strengthen these muscles.
If you have ever been forced to stay in bed for an extended period of time or to wear a cast, you know how your muscles atrophy and become weak when they are not used. This is equally true of your sex muscles. The penis actually withdraws into the body if it is not used regularly, as many older men who are not sexually active have witnessed. The Taoists knew that it is as important to exercise your sexual organs as any other part of your body.
ANUS
Its proximity to the prostate and its own high concentration of sensitive nerve endings make the anus a highly erogenous zone, as many men – both gay and straight – have discovered. Many people worry about the anus being "dirty" and consider it "unnatural" to stimulate the anus sexually. You should make sure that your anus is clean before you touch it and that you wash anything (such as a finger) that you use for anal stimulation before using it for vaginal stimulation to avoid spreading bacteria. Yet it is difficult to explain why the anus would be so sexually sensitive if stimulating it were "unnatural." Many heterosexual men also worry that they are gay or "will become gay" if they enjoy having their anuses stimulated, put there is no evidence to suggest a relationship between anal sensitivity and homosexuality. Homosexuality is a sexual orientation, not simply a sexual practice. Many gay men enjoy having their anuses stimulated, but many straight men do as well.
NIPPLES
Many men are surprised to find that their nipples are sensitive. Other men may require some regular stimulation to awaken their nerve endings. Nipple stimulation is one of the underrated and under-explored pleasures of male sexuality.
Your Energy
Understanding how the energy in your body works will allow you to expand genital orgasms into whole-body orgasms and to use your sexual energy to improve your creativity and health. As we mentioned in the introduction, Sexual Kung Fu developed as a branch of Chinese medicine. One of the world’s oldest and most effective healing systems, Chinese medicine is responsible for the discovery of such successfully proven therapies as acupuncture and acupressure. According to Chinese medicine, in addition to the physical structures of your body, you also have physical energy that is constantly circulating through every cell of your body.
THE BODY ELECTRIC
As Western chemistry has become more refined, it is now able to demonstrate that our bodies are indeed filled with energy and electric charges. In the February 1984 issue of Discover magazine, K. C. Cole explained the comparison: "Electricity is almost certainly the most elusive of everyday things: It lives in the walls of our houses, and regulates the lives of our cells.... It runs electric trains and human brains.... Your entire body is a giant electric machine: body chemistry (like all chemistry) is based on electrical bonds."
Chinese medicine is based on a person’s ability to maintain the proper circulation of this bioelectric energy through the body. If you have ever had acupuncture, you have experienced the circulation of this bioelectric energy, which the Chinese call chi (pronounced CHEE), in your own body. However, if you have not had this opportunity, there is a simple experiment you can do to feel your body's chi. Rub your hands together for ten seconds and then hold the palms about an inch apart. If you concentrate, you should be able to feel a flow of energy passing between them.
The idea of chi is not unique to China. Dr. John Mann and Larry Short, authors of The Body o Light count forty-nine cultures around the world that have a word for chi; the words vary from prana in Sanskrit to neyayoneyah in Lakota Sioux to num, which means "boiling point," in the language of the kalahari !Kung. The West is perhaps unique in its lack of an equivalent term. In the West, we speak about feeling energized or having low energy, but with a few notable exceptions, we tend to ignore this important part of our physical body.
The concept of chi is gaining increasing acceptance in the medical establishment. A major transition occurred when President Richard Nixon reestablished diplomatic relations with China in 1972. In Beijing, Chinese doctors performed emergency surgery on New York Times correspondent James Reston, using only acupuncture for anesthesia. Since then many delegations of Western physicians to China have witnessed similar events.
Chi is just beginning to be understood in the terminology of Western science. Currently, several Western physicians are exploring the phenomenon, such as Robert Becker, a Syracuse University orthopedist and author of The Body Electric, who is trying to explain chi in relation to his work in bioelectricity and healing. It was Dr. Becker’s research into electricity and its role in regenerating bones that led to the current method of using low-level electrical currents to stimulate the mending of fractures.
YOUR MICROCOSMIC ORBIT
You have bioelectric energy in every cell of your body. This energy also travels along certain well-defined circuits, called meridians, which acupuncture utilizes to regulate the amount of chi in any particular part of your body. The main circuit in the b...
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