If the relationship of father to son could really be reduced to biology, the whole earth would blaze with the glory of fathers and sons. -- James Baldwin, The Price of the Ticket
I swig from the can of Budweiser. It runs down my throat like warm piss. My chest gleams with sweat. The sun sparkling on the lake burns brilliant as a magnesium flare, and just as hot. North Carolina, summer. Complete with humidity.
"You going to cast?" Dad asks.
He lounges on a long, waist-high boulder, a perfect beach chair lying on the lake edge. Sleepy waves lap at its base. The air is still, thick as sweat fumes rising from a stinking armpit.
"Yeah, yeah." I grind the beer can down into the pebbles. I grab the shiny black fiberglass rod, check it, whip it back over my head. The hot day is briefly cool in my armpit's wet hairs. I snap my wrist. Thunk. The line goes straight into the water about three feet in front of me. Dad laughs.
"Pretty good, son. You been practicing?"
I start reeling the botched cast in.
"Yeah, yeah," I say.
I'm a lousy fisherman. It's an old joke between me and Daddy. So much so that my lips are curled in a half- smile.
"Play with your rod some more, son," Daddy says. "Get some practice in." He yanks his cap low over his forehead, then stretches out over the long, flat stone. His eyes close. He's comfortable; a thick towel is wadded under his neck, and more are under his back. Now I can safely stare at him.
Daddy's a big man. Commanding. Muscled, hairy. Only a few years ago he retired from the Army -- a day when his joy mixed with the sadness of moving out of an old, familiar house. He'd worn Army full dress -- and the winged badge of a paratrooper, and bright ribbons won in Asian rice paddies when I was a baby (and before), and the patch of a Ranger, and the green beret that always made me sit a little straighter in the seat when I saw it on him. I watched the little ceremony with Mom and my little brother. I read his emotions that day like a blind man feeling impressions in paper. He's changed.
Now he wears cutoffs -- old fatigue pants, lots of button-up pockets bulging with lines, lures, bobbers, weights. They're frayed at the bottom. Instead of a beret it's a baseball cap, pulled low over his eyes against the glare. But years of discipline which forged a hard body haven't been so easily cut away or tossed aside. Sweat shimmers on biceps about as thick as my thighs. On sloping, corded shoulders. On nipples the size of quarters, visible under a carpet of thick, dark, wiry hair. Daddy's hair covers his chest like lawn grass. Descending over a belly hardly softened by retirement it vanishes beneath the snug waist of the cutoffs, reemerging to coat hard thighs, the long shins.
I sigh. Turn away. Cast again. This time the line arcs well out into the molten silver water. The lure raises a small splash as it slices into the lake. I see his eyes open as the reel whirrs. Lips bend in a slight smile of amused satisfaction. Then his eyes close again. There's a flash of warmth in me that spreads out from my heart. And there's a flash of heat in me that burns my loins. Because my Dad is ten feet from me, sweat dripping from his muscles. Because the patterns of his sweat-wet body hair make a moiré pattern which ripple hypnotically under the furnace sky, drawing my gaze towards Daddy's center. Because that pattern draws my gaze towards his center. Because that spot is covered by his just-a-bit-too-snug cutoffs. Because my mind roams into illegal realms, where the illegality can cause enough fire to torch entire cities, entire countries.
Beneath those cutoffs the hair grows thick, I know -- thick, coarse, wiry round that big organ that one hot and sweaty night spewed me forth with 100 million brothers into my mother's womb. That big organ which is the fountain from which I sprang unformed and unwholesome. That cock which is my father. I sigh, finish reeling the line. I ignore -- try to ignore -- the void in my ass.
Often I think evil thoughts. In some dubious region between the triple peaks of reality, fantasy, and memory, Daddy gave a laughing, giggling toddler a bath. The toddler didn't care that Daddy was tired. Just hours before Daddy had walked down the jetway, exiting the DC-9 after a day-long trans-Pacific flight. His eyelids sagged; sleep like a monkey stood on his shoulder. But time he had for me, his son, his eldest. He was naked. He didn't even change out of his uniform -- just stripped it off, wanting to be with me but not wanting it soaked. I was a frenzied kid in the tub, fond of stirring the waters to a froth with ships and submarines engaged in protracted, violent battles. I was -- am -- the appetite for destruction. I stirred great tidal waves, overwhelming carriers, drowning the lip of the tub which was the shore of a tiny island with thousands of pathetic inhabitants -- Can't see anything of Daddy, being so low down in the tub, which perhaps is something he intends. But there were smiles, laughter, and washcloths, and Ivory soap, and Johnson's Baby Shampoo, and squeals. Daddy and me, naked and together.
Where does the real world begin? The wizard of imagination is insane, and often mixes memory with longing. There's a slipperiness to this image, like soap dropped in the shower skittering away from fingertips. Maybe it's an echo of an early memory. Maybe its Freudian, or Jungian, or both. A story, a song, a painting, untrue as seen but true as experienced. It comes to me, usually at night, just before I fall asleep. I never argue with it. I just let the experience roll over me, like his touch, over and over. Is it true I tingled so when he touched me?
Reel the line it. Cast. Drop sweat. Flip long wet hair over my shoulders. Swig beer. The lazy summer cycle goes on. Daddy doesn't speak much. He's dozing, or close to it. We came out here to get away from school, lawn-mowing, cleaning, responsibility -- he's tearing into this lazy day like a starving man into a roast. From time to time his hand moves off his belly, and in slow motion plucks his beer can from where he's tucked it between his thighs. Every once in a while beer spills down his chin. It collects in the hollow at the base of his neck, where it mixes with the sweat oozing from his body. He doesn't bother to wipe it, just letting it evaporate into the steamy air.
He asks me to get an icy Bud from the cooler twice. When I bring it to him he smiles at me, eyes half-closed with the laziness of the day. His hand rustles my hair; he acknowledges me through slitted eyes. Which doesn't help me at all. There's an uproar in my balls. My cock's alive in my shorts' cotton lining -- lengthening, thickening, stirring like a newly-roused cobra with the scent of prey on the tip of his tongue. Then shriveling, shrinking, like ice melting under the glare of the sun, nervous and scared. My bladder's swimming with piss. But I'm afraid to pee because of what might happen if I haul out my cock near my Dad.
Often I think evil thoughts. Daddy came through the door one evening while I sprawled on the floor for a rerun of Star Trek. I got up and ran over for the bear hug and the tripartite kiss on forehead, bridge of my nose, and right cheek. Oh yes, he was tired. Then he pitched me laughing to one side and headed for the kitchen. While I take up again the worn spot on the shag in front of the snowy image I hear Mom and Dad start to talk. Long march this morning -- from the damn barracks to the airfield. The C-130 was hot, miserable. Three guys puked before we got off the ground. And then the air was rough. The rest of the guys puked. I puked. Over the drop zone I had to kick one guy's ass to get him out of the plane. Then I came down on the edge of the damn zone because that asshole was late getting out; had to walk to the assembly point; then we had to march out of the zone. It went on a bit.
I pushed a budding hardon into the carpet, watching Kirk, Spock, and Scotty prowl around another starship's wrecked corridors. I'd been popping boners fairly frequently by that time, and I was handling that one the way I usually did. After a while I heard Mom laugh, and he came back in. I stopped rubbing the carpet. He winced as he slumped into the recliner. His eyes closed. Even back then I was into surreptitious Daddy watching. I glanced at him every now and then. His torso filled his shirt. Even the sleeves looked tight. I wanted muscles like that when I got older. Dust caked his boots, still tightly laced. There was mud on the fatigues, up to his thighs. He tried to watch the TV, but his eyelids kept falling every minute or so.
When the Tidy-Bowl Man in the commercial started singing, he said, "Son, would you rub my back?"
His back got hurt easily, I knew. He often had Mom give him a massage.
I said, "Sure."
I popped off the floor, my little hardon forgotten. A soft groan escaped him as he pushed himself out of the recliner. He stood, stretched and yawned. I saw big sweat stains under his arms. Bones popped as he arched his back. He unbuttoned his shirt top to bottom, slipped it off his shoulders. I saw the pain in his face, and I started to move, wanting to help him. He was too quick for me. He dropped the shirt onto the couch and tugged the green tee shirt over his head with hairy fists. His chest hair clung to his skin, matted with sweat. Daddy's odor filled the room, rich and dark. Spicy. The ridges on his belly flexed as he twisted his torso some, trying to work the kinks out.
Kirk, Spock, and the doomsday machine forgotten, wishing I were half the man he was, I stood to one side. Grinning at me, he lay down on the floor, stretching his length out before me. The back of the green camouflage pants were ripped, right in the butt, and I saw his white boxers. Working in the yard had tanned his skin. Daddy folded his arms beneath his head, cradled it.
"Go to it, son." His voice wasn't much more than a sigh. I sat down Indian-style beside him. I touched his back, softly. His skin was hot as a griddle, and sticky. The muscles beneath were so tense they felt like armor plate. The hairs in the valley his spine made right above his belt stuck to his skin. My hands, tiny next to his hard mass, began to knead. But I wasn't paying close attention to it. I smelled Daddy's musk, the sweat worked up that day shoving young men out the back of a lumbering C-130. My nostrils gaped, breathing that odor in. I'd smelled this before, but I never could get enough of it. This was better than being in the locker rooms with the guys after a game. This smell was something I didn't yet have, but I wanted, and I loved Daddy for having it. Scent of work, toil, struggle.
"Get down lower on my back, son," Daddy asked. His voice sounded like an old door creaking on its hinges.
"It feels good, but I'm hurting down low."
"I'm going to have to sit on you," I said.
"OK." There was a hint of a moan in his voice. So I got up, straddled Daddy's hard body, and lowered myself down. I sat on his butt. It felt like I sat on a pair of hard stones rounded in a gushing stream. His fatigues (ripped on a rough edge in the plane) showed me that expanse of cotton covering his ass. He shifted his butt to accommodate my weight, spreading his legs a bit. I leaned forward, putting my hands on his spine between his shoulder blades, clamping Daddy's ass between my thighs. I dug into the muscles. Another smell filled my head, darker and deeper. Tangy. I learned something in that moment: Daddy's sweat was the distillation of this odor, his true scent, what the dog smelled when he sniffed him.
I ran my fingers down the knobs of his spine, slowly. He groaned like a ghost. Down to where the belt held the fatigues onto his hips, then to either side, fanning out, digging into the knots. Then back up. Filled with wonder, I set up a cycle. I ran my hands down his back, bending down low so my chest was close to him, so I could get a good whiff of that smell. Up, and out, over the corded flesh. Repeating it over and over. My hardon throbbed against the zipper in my jeans. Rubbing it against my Dad's butt was better than rubbing it against the carpet. Soft snores filled the room. Leaning to one side I looked at his eyes. There were closed, relaxed. His big chest rose and fell slowly. I grinned. Mom ratted pans loudly in the kitchen. I felt adventurous.
Still massaging his hard body, I began to work my way to other places. While Commodore Decker rode the shuttlecraft into the planet-killer's burning maw I explored the hard, stiff hair in his armpits, sniffing my hands, almost passing out next to his sprawled body from the purity of the smell. As Scotty beamed back to the Big E I tapped out "I love you" on a keyboard I imagined existed right where his hot skin vanished beneath the belt. I'd just started to learn how to type; rubbing my boner against him made me want to practice. As Kirk dissolved into a shower of golden sparks and the planet-killer's maw devoured the ship, I reached round and ran my fingers through the hair on his chest. I explored that forest until I came to something hard like a stone, pointed and stiff. I played with it, a dog tossed a toy. Credits rolled on the screen. Alien creatures, alien vistas.
Mom called on the final note of the closing title music, "Dinner's ready." I poked Daddy awake. He came out of it slowly. I caressed his back, feeling those muscles now, a little bit softer and relaxed. I leaned down, whispered, "Dinner's ready."
Lifting his body up on his arms, he looked back over his shoulder at me, still riding his ass like a cowboy on a stallion. "Thanks, son."
His face dissolved into a weary smile. He rolled over. I went sprawling. He picked me up and hugged me to his. I buried my face in his armpit. That night, I fucked my teddy bear between its legs until I came.
Daddy stirs out of his slumber. He kicks his rod and it drops into the water. He leans over the edge of his boulder, pulls it up dripping beside him. "Damn," he says, eyes blinking rapidly. "Fell asleep."
"Ain't nothing happening," I say. I stand up to the symphony of popping knees.
"Caught anything?"
Daddy sits upright, rubbing his eyes. His chest hair drips sweat.
"No." I shake my head. I flip a wet strand of hair off my eyebrows.
"Unless you count weeds and sticks. Haven't even seen anything jump."
Dad picks up his beer, drinks from it, frowns.
"Damn. I don't really give a fuck if we catch anything or not." I laugh.
"No. I just wanted to get away from it all." I swallow.
"Do you want another beer?"
"Yeah, son, that'd be great."
I sit my rod down on the pebbles, walk stiff-legged over to the cooler. I fish a bottle of Bud from the icy water sloshing around inside. I splash some water over my naked chest, to cool off. My nipples get hard as I splutter. I feel like a piranha, almost ready to explode into a frenzy. Like a medieval page boy would to his knight, I bring Daddy the beer. He's stretched out full length on the boulder, propped up on one elbow. His eyes rake my body. The fatigue cutoffs have bunched up in his crotch. The bulge is huge.
The night before I left for Carolina I went out drinking with a couple of buddies from my senior class. You were supposed to be 21, of course, but we knew the right guys at the right Pantry. We got some beer. Then we rode out into the dark countryside and sat on the bank of the Neuse, watching the black waters flow past, bitching, talking, remembering, saying goodbye. A morose evening, very maudlin. Didn't even jack off. I didn't get in real late but even so the house was dark.
I went in, fairly quietly because I didn't want to wake everyone up. I didn't even turn on the lights. I ran into the usual guardians at the door. I patted the dachshund on the head; she waddled sleepily off. The cats rubbed against my ankles. I stroked their fur backwards and they withdrew, pissed. The hallway was dark, so I stepped carefully and lightly. I kept one hand on the right wall, so I could hold a straight course in the darkness. When that wall suddenly vanished, I knew it'd made the turn to my parent's bedroom. To my left was my room. I started fumbling for my doorknob. Then I froze. The hair on the back of my neck rose as if I had a hand clamped to a Van der Graaf generator. I heard my mother moan. And I wondered why, for an eternally stupid moment. Then: they were fucking. I fell to my knees. Daddy was in there. Naked. Cock like a tower. Balls drawn up tight. Fucking.
I think I stopped breathing. I think my heart ceased. Without the rush of blood in my hears, that not-so-silent companion of the living, I heard them clearly. My cock erupted into erection. Sublimation between two states -- soft to hard -- like iodine leaping from solid to gas. I ripped open my jeans, because the Levi's were about to snap my rod in two. My cock didn't wait for my Hanes to come down; it shoved them aside, anxious to get free. My foreskin was already drawn back. In that instant, I became a porno director, and I made Daddy the star.
39 INT. PARENT'S BEDROOM - ON DADDY'S FACE
We are looking from the head of the bed towards the foot. DADDY crouches over a dark shape, which we see sprawled beneath him. Two thighs rise on either side of his flanks, which we see are tense as he pulls back ...
CUT TO: 40 CLOSE UP ON FATHER'S COCK
... and we see his ENORMOUS COCK retreating from the hairy V of a well-spread vagina. Pussy fluids ooze round it. The cock ceases moving. Huge testicles the size of grapefruits dangle in the foreground. SOUND OF MOANING over as DADDY barrels his cock in. We watch as two sets of pubic hairs mash together.
SMASH-CUT TO: 41 CLOSE UP
On the midsections of DADDY and MOMMY (their faces are out of frame, but we should KNOW that they are clenched in passion) seen in silhouette against the dark room. MOMMY'S legs rise on either side of DADDY; he is deep between them. We watch as DADDY pumps his wife hard. His motions are sure. We are awed by his sexual prowess. Hold this shot for several strokes.
CUT TO: 42 CLOSE UP ON DADDY'S FACE
His eyes are closed and his lips are drawn back over his teeth. Sweat plasters his hair to his skull; sweat runs over his face; sweat runs down his chest. We should FEEL his exertion as he fucks. This is the tableaux of the male in his sexual glory, on the precipice of heaven.
LAP-DISSOLVE: 43 DADDY'S FACE IN PROFILE
We see DADDY'S profile, black against the walls of the room. His head is arched back, his mouth opens, and he MOANS. CAMERA MOVES OVER and we see the back of his head, which bobs as he fucks. CAMERA PANS down his body.
CONTINUE PAN: 44 PAN - DADDY'S NECK
CAMERA PANS down DADDY'S neck. We see the muscled corded in exertion. The moonlight seeping into the rooms shows us droplets of sweat covering his body like a dust of diamonds. We see scraggly dark hair glued to his nape.
CONTINUE PAN: 45 PAN - ON DADDY'S BACK
We follow DADDY'S spine, traveling down towards his butt. We watch his back undulate as he drives himself deep into the woman beneath him. As we descend past his shoulder blades we can clearly see his armpit hairs. We note DADDY'S V-shaped torso. In action it is so incredible that again we wish we were half the man he is.
CONTINUE PAN: 46 PAN - ON DADDY'S ASS
As we descend down his back, we first notice the hairs that cluster around the base of his spine. Like all of DADDY'S hair, it's plastered to his body from his exertion. As we CONTINUE, we see at last Daddy's ass. The two halves are big and round as melons; they are deeply dimpled, and they vibrate with the force and power of his fucking. His legs hold MOMMY'S open and as such are slightly spread. We can see his asshole, ringed with hair. Between his legs we see his enormous testicles hanging down onto the sheets; his testicles are so big they make him almost a freak. But this is no freak; this is DADDY, the true stud.
CUT TO: 47 CLOSE UP - DADDY'S FACE IN PROFILE
MATCH WITH DADDY'S profile as in 43. Suddenly his lips clench and he begins to spit. The perfect arch in his neck vanishes and he begins to thrash his head around. Sweat sprays from his body. Spit flies from his lips.
DADDY Oh shit, I'm coming!
I bowed my head and shut my eyes. I listened. I listened. Just outside their door. The flesh. The moans. It rose to a tribal crescendo. A deep moan, a growling ululation like the howling vacuum of space. Eighteen years prior to that night they made me to the beat of such a symphony. Then it died. Silence. I could again hear the crickets outside chirping. The bed squeaked. Sheets rustled. Water started running in their bathroom. When I opened my eyes our dachshund stared at me, head tilted to one side in that What the fuck's with you? gaze dogs have. I shook my head at her, opened my door, and fled across the underwear-strewn floor of my room to my bed. I made myself come again while I wiped jism from my the flaps of my jeans, staining the crisp white sheets with the faded dandelion yellow that Mom was too used to washing out.
"You going to give me the beer or what, son?"
Daddy looks up at me, eyes bright. The stubble on his jaw is thick as moss growing on the north side of a tree. I'm standing there, stupidly holding his beer, staring off into space, musing. A bolt of fear lances through me, white knight skewering the black. My cock, rock hard, vibrates with urgency, thrusts up against the elastic of my shorts.
"Uh, yeah," I say, and extend the beer. His hand, callused, tufted hair on the knuckles, meets mine on the beer. We exchange hot sweat on the beer can. He smiles. My nipples are hard. I give him the beer. Daddy sips from the can. His throat pulses as he swallows, glistening with sweat. Daddy drinks deep and long, puts the beer down beside the boulder.
"Damn," he says. "I've got to piss." He grins. His eyes flick towards my groin.
"If I don't I'll end up like you, boy. Standing tall and proud."
He laughs, then swings his legs over the side of the boulder. I laugh too, but it's forced. Mind's spinning. I've got an erection. My father has noticed it. He's praised it. There's a warm feeling in a my heart. Daddy's given me affirmation in the way few fathers ever do. What more could a son want? What more should a son want? Looking at my father, his hairy body clad only in shorts verging on being too small, seeing his sweat-slick musculature, his short hair grey-streaked plastered to his skull, I wanted more. I wanted Daddy. My cock throbs. I feel wetness at its tip; I know I'm leaking. My shorts are stained with the evidence of my lust. I know the shape of my hardon is prominent through the nylon. I look like an obscene characature of a man -- hard, dripping, perversely excited, fucking horny.
Daddy steps into the water. Waves lap at his ankles. He fumbles at his crotch, unbuttons his fly. He turns and looks over his shoulder.
"You need to piss too?" He pauses. "You look like you need to."
His eyebrows curl into question marks. My mouth seems filled with some thick, bitter mucus. I'm scared, scared like a man dangling from the edge of a cliff. The grinning gap of the unknown waits for me, hungry and insatiable. I'm conscious of the incredible pressure in my bladder. Seams along my bloated bladder are on the verge of busting. My belly's distended with piss. Hang on. Or let go. Daddy's fly is open.
"Come on, boy. Let's piss!"
I can't resist. I wade out next to him. The lake feels like bathwater. The pebbles bite into my feet; they're slimy with moss. I feel the sweat ooze out of my skin. There is no breeze. All is silent. I stand next to Daddy. His fly is gaping, but the glory within is shadowed and hidden. His eyes look up into mine.
"Ready?" he asks. His fingertips are on the lips of the opened fly, keeping them spread.
"Yeah." The word emerges from my mouth like a frog's croak. Father and son, our eyes drop to each other's crotches, mentally linked, twins whose relationship spans generations and genetics. As I pull the elastic band of my shorts away from my belly, Daddy reaches into his fly. As I slip my fingers through the tangle of my pubic hair, Daddy's fingers have snagged a huge tube within his cutoffs. As I pull my cock so that it rears high above the elastic, Daddy yanks his cock through the gaping fly. As I hook my shorts under my swollen balls, Daddy spreads his fly so wide with his thumbs that I can see his thick pubic hair, sweat-wet and fragrant. We look up at each other. We grin.
"Nice setup there, Daddy."
It spurts from my mouth. I've let go. I let go when I waded out here. We have identical cocks, Daddy and I. Same length -- these cocks rear proud and stiff, bridging that expanse of flesh between groin and navel. Same thickness -- well-fed boa constrictors can't match us. We have on the underside of our cocks an unusual arrangement of veins -- the veins have sorted themselves in diamond patterns. We both have big balls, dangling from a lot of flesh. He's cut. I'm not. My skin covers my cockhead except right around the pisshole which like an eye stares through. Daddy's naked cockhead steams in the air.
"You too, boy," Daddy says. "Looks familiar."
He seems curious, his head cocked to one side, checking me out. His expression looks the same as the guys did, back when I was in the seventh grade and prone to pop a proud boner in the showers after PE.
"Yeah."
"You ready?"
I'm so excited I'm not sure if I can get my piss up my urethra through all that thick precum that I'm leaking. But I bend my rigid dick down, gripping my cock right at the base, just like Daddy is doing. I look up at the into the hazy blue, rolling my eyes up. I exhale as if I'm a priest clearing his thoughts for communion. I hear Daddy do the same beside me. Pissholes gape. I moan, a high and thin sound. The piss burns along my urethra like Drano. It sprays suddenly from my cockhead, uncontrolled, split into two main streams and a fan of droplets. I feel inept. It's like I don't know how to piss. Then it stabilizes into a stream like light being focused into a laser. I feel better. Studly. Worthy companion to Daddy.
The sound of my piss pouring into the lake is an oddly distorted, weakened version of what I hear when I pee into a bowl. I look beside me. Daddy's stream is a solid shaft of gold, a fat wire of glistening piss connecting his erection with the silver surface of the lake. He didn't have that embarrassing fan of piss explode from his cock -- Daddy's too much the rugged stud. Just a straight shot of piss, simple and elegant as a sword-stroke. And that stream goes on and on, minute after minute, as Daddy empties his swollen bladder. He wears a sly grin while it pours out, while he looks at me.
"Really nice equipment, son. Really nice. Chip off the old block. You always get hard so easy?"
"Yeah," I say thickly. A brief flash of fear: should I deny getting boners so easily, so often, always around males big and powerful like Daddy? But Daddy told me once: never lie. Ever. "Yeah. Happens a lot." My stream dribbles to a halt. My cock rears up out of my hand, standing free and proud. I wipe a dribble of sweat off my nose. My hand is aromatic with piss.
"Yeah, me too. Shit!" Daddy winces. His pee still gushes. Sweat glistens like shards of mirror in his pubic hair. "Man. Been saving this pee for hours."
As he says that, his stream starts of diminish. The water lapping at Daddy's ankles is yellowish. This lake is now his turf.
"Looks like it, Daddy." I grin. I can't help it. The world spins like a quark, chaotic and perilously to actualization. I'm happy, frightened, lusting, joyful, alive. Daddy's stream vanishes suddenly, cut off as sharply as if he'd twisted the knob on a spigot. Daddy's hardon imitates mine precisely: bobs up out of his hand, rigidifies hard and rampant. An erect father. Sperm churns in my balls. I feel adrift in a sea of potentialities, where draughts of fantasy and reality mix in equal measure. My hand pulls back on my cock, revealing my cockhead nested red and hot in the folds of my foreskin. My pisslips cup a droplet of shiny fluid -- precum, piss, what does it matter? It's male.
Daddy says, "Well, son. We've both got boners that we're pretty fuckin' proud of." He smiles. "You know where I use mine. Where do you put yours?"
I surrender. I start getting into this, reveling in the perversion, the evil, the sickness. Spit at the Gods, shit on the bibles. Do what I will; do what I need.
"I -- got some friends." I pause, still reluctant to speak my next words. "Some guys on the soccer team, at Carolina, some of 'em, really get into my meat."
"Really? The guys? What do they like about it? Size? Thickness? We've got lots of guys beat both ways, son."
"Does Mom like it?" I'm panting. Panting like a fucking dog. Panting after my hard Dad. He -- proud stud -- grins.
"You bet, son. What do your teammates like?"
"They get off on it, I guess. Couple of 'em are really into how long it is ... most like how thick it is. One or two like to hold up a Coke can up next to it and compare."
I release my foreskin, and it snaps shut over my cockhead, smearing precum. Then I pull it back, because when I touch my cock I almost always start to j.o.
" ... and they like my 'skin. A lot of guys don't have any. Or ain't never seen it. And ... and a couple of guys, they like to clean my cheese off."
"They wash you?"
"They lick me."
Daddy grins ... slowly, like a man who's bitten into an unfamiliar fruit, slowly realizing that he likes the taste. He starts masturbating with me. His hand smoothly flows up along his erection. The scar where he was cut stretches and moves as his hand does the slip and slide.
"Do guys really know how to suck good? That's what I used to hear in the barracks ... "
"Yeah, Daddy. They do. Really good."
My hand's frozen, because I'm watching my father pleasure himself, and my world is spinning, and I'm about to explode.
"Did they just blow you, son?"
"No, Daddy. No." I pause.
"One or two -- they get fucked."
"You fuck them?" Daddy whispers, almost in awe.
"I fuck them," I say, remembering steamy showers and wet jockstraps. "I put it to them. They love it."
"Is Jesse one of them? You stay at his house a lot."
Daddy hawks a load of spit onto his cock, working it into the taut skin. It's unconscious, practiced, and erotic.
"Yeah." My balls are sucked up against the tube of my cock, like a cannon loaded and primed for firing. "Yeah ... Jesse's like a nympho, Daddy. I can't satisfy him. He can't keep his legs closed around me, he keeps turning around, spreading his legs, and showing me his butt when I pass him in the halls. I've fucked him till my dick was raw, till I shot dust up his hole, and he still kept fucking asking for more." Oh these are good memories.
"I sit behind him in Pre-calc, and I keep getting hardons, 'cause I hear him fart and I know it's my jism he's dropping into his jockeys. I've seen the crack of his 501's wet because of the jism he farts out. The guys think he craps in his pants, thinks he's weird."
"Ever had a girl, son?" Daddy asks. "Had one beat you off, blow you, screw you?"
"No, Daddy. No. Just never really been all that interested ... "
"Really? Just not into it?"
"Well, I might try it, maybe. But I get off on guys, Daddy. I just do."
"You sound like you do it good, son," Daddy says. I laugh. Praised again, the warmth joins the heat in my crotch.
"Yeah, I guess."
"You should try something different." He pauses. "If you want. You shouldn't limit yourself."
"I will, Daddy. I will." I'm holding myself one notch below orgasm. My foreskin's sopping with precum, and a big thread of it dangles in the breeze like a strand of spider's silk.
"Have you ever tried something different, Daddy?" An evil grin curls my lips. Daddy's hands pause. His dick's the mirror of mine -- primed, cocked, ready to fire. His voice is low. "No, son, I haven't."
"You want to?"
I mean, there's no reason to hold back now. No fucking reason. Me and Daddy should be executed for allowing this scene. This is evil, we're evil; the walls are collapsing around us, the barbarians are here, civilization is collapsing. And I need it to go on. There's a long pause. That hairy hand of his travels every so slowly up and down that vibrant shaft.
"Son, you ever been fucked by a man?" The strand of glistening lube breaks free, falls like a meteor into the dazzling water. Another begins to emerge, a long, thin transparent worm wiggling out of my body.
"No." Voice is horse. "Guys want to. Eric wants to. Real bad."
"Eric?"
"Guy on the team. He's goosed me in the showers. But he's got a tiny cock."
"You've seen him hard?"
"Yeah. And he isn't going to be the one. The only guy who I'll let fuck me has to have a cock my size or bigger." My eyes shine. My guts calm. There. I've said it, as clearly as I can manage. He shudders. He closes his eyes. He sighs.
And Daddy's cutoffs drop to the lake, turn dark as they soak up water. His cock juts up like a pier of stone, a megalithic tower of hard flesh, a pagan instrument powerful and forbidding as Stonehenge or Carnac. Violent. Passionate. When he and Mom made me he was like this. Aroused. Potent. Virile. What wonderful words these are when applied to my father. Swollen testicles swarming with gray jism, male essence, the tincture of which I am a solution. Urethra, full of lubricant to pave the way, cock lips open and oozing. Sweaty chest, matted hair, salted fluid of father streaming from his armpits. Sebaceous glands secreting a milky liquid that smells...like me. And him. Us. Daddy, hard and naked.
...
oldboy67