JL Merrow - Hairy, Horny, and Over Here.pdf

(398 KB) Pobierz
Dedication
773293297.001.png
To Matthew Vandrew, without whom I might never have
known of the existence of these fearsome critters.
Hairy, Horny, and Over Here | JL Merrow | 3
Hairy, Horny, and Over Here
“B E VEWWY , vewwy quiet, we’re hunting” Ethan broke off
as a shotgun, held in a pair of unusually beefy hands, swung
toward him and took up position about three inches from his
left nostril. “Joke, okay?” He swallowed and tried to ignore
the chill tap-dancing down his spine. “Sense of humor
failure, much?”
His heavy black brows casting his dark eyes in even
darker shadow, Logan very noticeably didn’t move the gun
away. “Joking like that is what gets guys killed out in the
bush.” His voice, with its American twang, was a low rumble
that reminded Ethan equally of Clint Eastwood at his
meanest and the roaring of the tigers in the local zoo. Ethan
had always liked to lie in bed and listen to them on a
summer’s evening. Apparently Logan had spent so long in
the company of dangerous animals he’d started to sound like
one. Not to mention behave like one.
Ethan found himself wondering what it would be like to
lie in bed listening to Logan. If he’d been asked to describe
his companion’s physical appearance, the word “tiger” would
probably not have sprung to mind. “Bear,” on the other
handthat would do nicely. Well over six feet tall, Logan
seemed to lumber rather than walk. He was not so much
hirsute as full-on furry, and if he fancied a snack, Ethan
could all too easily imagine him scooping up live salmon in
those great paws of his and swallowing them whole. Talking
of swallowing things whole…. Ah. The barrel of the shotgun
was still glaring coldly in Ethan’s general direction. It
probably wasn’t the time to get distracted.
 
Hairy, Horny, and Over Here | JL Merrow | 4
Judging discretion to be the better part of valor,
particularly when he was a foot shorter and around a
hundred pounds lighter than the other guy, Ethan put his
hands up in mock surrender and smiled ingratiatingly.
“We’re not in the bush, though, are we? This is Parkhurst
Forest on the Isle of Wight, not the African Serengeti. On a
global scale, it barely qualifies as a shrubbery.” He paused
significantly. “And right now, I’m thinking it’s more likely to
be that gun of yours that gets me killed. Do you think you
could point it somewhere else?”
“You call this a gun?” Logan’s lip curled around his
cigar. “My three-year-old daughter has toys that could out-
shoot this piece of shit. The gun laws in this country are
crazy. How the hell is a man supposed to protect himself and
his family?”
Damn. Logan had a daughter. That probably meant he
had sex with girls. Or at least a girl. Well, had done once,
unless it was some test-tube, turkey-baster baby…. Ethan
wrenched his thoughts to more immediate matters. “You’re
seriously telling me you think that giving a gun to every nut-
job who can come up with the money makes a country
safer ?”
Logan took the stub of his cigar out of his mouth, glared
at it for a moment, then ground it out beneath one size-
fourteen heel. “You got a nuclear deterrent, don’t you?”
“Not personally, no.”
“But you get my drift, right?” All credit to Logan: for a
big guy who was trying to get a point across, he used
minimal looming.
Actually, Ethan wouldn’t have minded a bit more
looming. Possibly even some menacing, as long as the
 
Hairy, Horny, and Over Here | JL Merrow | 5
shotgun wasn’t involved. There was a difference, in his
opinion, between hey, that’s kinky, do it again and shit, call
the police now , and the use of shotguns was so far on the
other side of the line it had probably fallen off the edge of the
island.
“I suppose so,” Ethan conceded. “Butoh, I don’t know.
Do we really need all the firepower in this particular
instance? This isn’t the full might of communist Russia we’re
up against. Wouldn’t a carrot on a stick do just as well?”
“This ain’t some fluffy bunny we’re up against, kid,”
Logan snarled. “This is your worst nightmare come to life.
This is the Jackalope.” The capital J was clearly audible, and
it remained hanging in the air between them for a moment
like the trail left by a sparkler on Bonfire Night.
Ethan laughed. “Hey, if it was my worst nightmare, I’d
be naked and up in front of my old maths class, with Mr.
Frogmore beating me with a blackboard rubber for being too
thick to understand calculus.”
Logan’s surly expression seemed to soften as he nodded
his dark, shaggy head at Ethan. “Yeah, I heard all about the
kind of shit that goes on in your English schools. Wouldn’t
be allowed to happen in the US of A, that’s for sure!”
“Uh, I didn’toh, never mind.” Ethan unclipped his lens
cap. “Listen, why don’t I get a couple of shots before we get
into it? You want to get into hunter pose? Aim that gun of
yours at something that’s not me?”
“You can put that thing away. I’ll pose for pictures when
I got the jackalope. Not before. You think I want you
snapping pictures, flashing your little light-bulbs and
scaring away anything in a half mile range?” He strode off
 

Plik z chomika:

Inne pliki z tego folderu:

Inne foldery tego chomika:

Zgłoś jeśli naruszono regulamin