(eBook) - NLP - Essential Skills - Handbook.PDF - 2014-07-10 Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) Book Collection - world_of_courses

Essential Skills

TONALITY ....................................................................................................................................................................... 2

P OSTURE ......................................................................................................................................................................... 2

Posture Stretches....................................................................................................................................................... 2

B REATHING ..................................................................................................................................................................... 3

E MOTION ........................................................................................................................................................................ 3

I NFLECTION ..................................................................................................................................................................... 4

E MBEDDED C OMMANDS ................................................................................................................................................. 4

A MBIGUITY ..................................................................................................................................................................... 5

P AUSING ......................................................................................................................................................................... 5

P UNCTUATION A MBIGUITY ............................................................................................................................................. 6

TRANCE ........................................................................................................................................................................... 7

P ATTERN INTERRUPT ...................................................................................................................................................... 7

U NCONSCIOUS AWARENESS ............................................................................................................................................ 7

N ONVERBAL TRANCE ...................................................................................................................................................... 8

VISUALIZATION ............................................................................................................................................................ 9

E XERCISE 1 ..................................................................................................................................................................... 9

E XERCISE 2 ..................................................................................................................................................................... 9

E XERCISE 3 ..................................................................................................................................................................... 9

E XERCISE 4 ................................................................................................................................................................... 10

E XERCISE 5 ................................................................................................................................................................... 10

E XERCISE 6 ................................................................................................................................................................... 10

T ROUBLESHOOTING ...................................................................................................................................................... 10

ANCHORING ................................................................................................................................................................. 11

E XERCISE ONE .............................................................................................................................................................. 11

E XERCISE T WO ............................................................................................................................................................. 12

E XERCISE THREE ........................................................................................................................................................... 12

RAPPORT ....................................................................................................................................................................... 13

WHOLE BODY MATCHING..................................................................................................................................... 13

CROSS MATCHING................................................................................................................................................... 13

MOVEMENTS ............................................................................................................................................................ 14

PART MATCHING ..................................................................................................................................................... 14

BREATHING............................................................................................................................................................... 14

VOCAL PACING ........................................................................................................................................................ 14

TRANCE PHRASES ................................................................................................................................................... 15

CONVERSATIONAL MODALITIES ........................................................................................................................ 15

Exercise: pond – widening peripheal field ........................................................................................................... 16

Exercise: Mirroring.............................................................................................................................................. 16

Exercise: Verbal mirroring .................................................................................................................................. 16

GOAL GETTING ........................................................................................................................................................... 17

S TEP 1 – A REALLY COMPELLING STATE ....................................................................................................................... 17

S TEP 2 - C OMPELLING V OICES ...................................................................................................................................... 17

S TEP 3 – M OVING YOUR TIMELINE ................................................................................................................................ 17

S TEP 4 P UT Y OUR G OAL ON Y OUR T IMELINE ............................................................................................................... 18

S TEP 5- G ET R ID OF O BJECTIONS .................................................................................................................................. 18

S TEP 6- M ORE M OTIVATION ......................................................................................................................................... 18

S TEP 7 – M ORE C OMPELLING T IMELINES ..................................................................................................................... 19

Kim McFarland and Tom Vizzini

PMB 654, 10800 Alpharetta Hwy, Ste 208

Rosweli, GA 30076

Tonality

Your tonality is very important, because you are using your voice to persuade others. If your voice isn't

pleasant to listen to, who is going to sit and listen to it long enough for you to get what you want. Also, you

need to be able to effectively control your voice in order to use techniques such as embedded commands and

voice pacing.

Posture

Posture is important because if the body is not properly aligned the voice can't come out with the power, the

resonance, and the projection that it naturally has.

Exercise 1 - Imagine there is a string that runs through the top of the head and down through the neck, and

down through the spine. Then imagine that someone pulls up slightly on the string, straightening the neck

and the spine to the point where even if there were no muscles holding them in place the bones would stay

sitting one on top of the other, and at the same time you feel your shoulders slide back into place. Now,

imagine moving through the world this way ... when you sit at your computer ... drive in your car... watch

TV.

Exercise 2 - In order for some people to keep their shoulders back in place they need to stretch out the chest

and strengthen the back (especially the rhomboids, between the shoulder blades, and the rear deltoids, which

are the backs of the shoulders). This is true especially for people who sit at computers all day long.

Posture Stretches

Number 1

This stretch should be felt just above the collarbone in that little triangle.

1. Stand with your lower back straight. Have your legs shoulder width apart, and your knees slightly bent.

2. Reach behind the back with your right arm and grab the left arm (which is down by the side) at or just

above the elbow.

3. Rotate the left arm back in the socket gently, making sure you're turning the arm at the shoulder joint and

not the elbow.

4. Turn your head to the right looking over the shoulder, and then tilt the chin down toward the shoulder.

5. Hold this position for 60 seconds.

6. Repeat on other side.

Alternate Step 3 - If you can't reach your arm that way, just gently rotate the shoulder back in the socket

without holding the arm. You'll know if you're doing the stretch right by where you feel it.

Number 2

1. Move your shoulders up toward your ear.

2. Roll them back, squeezing your shoulder blades together.

3. Let your shoulders drop, letting them stay back naturally.

Number 3

You'll feel this stretch in the chest, just below the collarbone, from the breastbone all the way to the shoulder.

1. Place the palm of your hand again the wall, with your arm straight, and your hand about three inches

above the shoulder.

2. Lean into the stretch, so your body is as perpendicular to the wall as possible while remaining

comfortable.

3. Hold stretch for 60 seconds.

4. Repeat on other side.

You can also do neck and shoulder rolls to loosen up these areas and help them realign after the stretches.

Breathing

It's important to breathe in deeply in order to project your voice and to have power and resonance. You won't

be taking in more air, but you will be breathing into the lower portion of the lungs instead of into the upper

portion of the chest.

Exercise 1 - Put your hand on your upper chest. Breathe so that this part of the chest moves out when you

breathe in. As you breathe out, let out an 'Aaahhh" with the breath. Now put your hand in the middle of your

chest and breath into this area, and as you release your breath say "Aaahhh." Now put your hand on your

solar plexes and do the same thing. Lastly put your hand on your stomach and as you say "Aaahhh" as you let

the breathe out notice how much stronger your voice is when you speak from here, and notice how much

more resonant your voice is.

If this isn't easy for you try holding your hands above your head while you do this. As a last resort you can

lie on the floor and practice there so you know how it feels, before you practice standing up.

While you do this remember to keep your shoulders slid back and your back straight.

Emotion

When you speak it's important that you can hear your feelings in the words that you say, otherwise you don't

sound sincere. In addition to the excitement in your voice when you talk about roller coasters and the wonder

in your voice when you talk about peak experiences, you need to make some other words sound like what the

mean. For example if you were saying the word ~'short" you would make the word sound just slightly abrupt,

or if you're saying the word 'humongous" you would drag out the syllables a little and maybe even raise your

voice slightly.

Exercise 1 - Here is a list of emotions that you can practice saying with the feeling of the emotion in your

voice when you say it. To help you out a little, you might want to imagine a time when you experienced this

emotion, and see what you saw, feel what you felt, and hear what you heard. Also make sure when you

imagine this event that you're looking through your own eyes and not watching yourself. Lastly think of a

sound that might represent that emotion for you.

Curiosity

Lust

Sincerity

Love

Amazement

Excitement

Exhilaration

Happiness

Calm

Playful

Here's a list of words that would sound like what they mean

Huge

Gorgeous

Beautiful

Anticipation

Powerful

Tiny

Bright

Smooth

Rich

Exercise 2 - You also need to practice using these words in sentences, especially since many of them might

be in one sentence together.

Have you ever had a peak experience, maybe you saw an amazingly beautiful sunset.

I was snorkelling in Hawaii and I saw the biggest sea turtle ever, and I was so excited that I could hardly

breath.

Have you ever met someone and you were really curious, and the more curious you became the more playful

you became in your thoughts.

Notice that the words might not actually match the way you say them. For example in the last sentence the

word thoughts could be said in a seductive way.

Exercise 3 - Go and eavesdrop on people's conversations, or talk to one of your more boring friends or co-

workers. Ignore the words that they are saying and just listen for what state they are in while they are talking.

Notice when the states shift and the fine nuances between one state and another. Understand, the other halt

using tonality to put forth your own ideas and persuade others Is being aware of other people's so you can

know where they're at and what effect you're having on them regardless of the words that come out of their

mouths.

When you're up for a challenge, ask someone to talk about one thing while they think about another, and

figure out what state they're really in. For example, the last time you were talking about business, while you

were thinking about going out water skiing next weekend.

Inflection

Your inflection is important, because according to how you use it you can seem powerful, or not. You see

there are three ways of speaking: commands, questions, and statements.

Statements just have a flat inflection at the end, questions go up at the end, and commands go down. This is

important because if you say something like "Let's go out" as a question instead of a command you give the

other person a chance to say no. Also, a question isn't always a question. If you use the grammatical structure

of a question but go down with the inflection at the end of the sentence then you actually make it a

command.

Exercise 1 Say these sentences using a downward inflection at the end.

• Let's go out.

• Come with me.

• I love you.

• Do you want to go out for coffee with me? (Taking the inflection down on with me)

• Do you understand?

Inflection is also very important for being able to embed commands. You can embed a command using any

note, but for the sake of simplicity here we're going to talk about embedding commands by dropping your

tone slightly on the command. The difference not only doesn't have to be extreme, but it should be slight so it

is only perceptible to the trained ear Imagine a musical scale; the note you use for the embedded command

would be a note or even only a half note lower on the scale than the other notes you're using when you speak.

Embedded Commands

Embedded commands are used to say something to the unconscious while you might be saying something

completely different to the conscious mind. You can do this by saying all of the words in the embedded

commands in one particular note, at a particular volume, etc. The key is to have the note or volume that you

embed the commands at distinct from the rest of what you say. For example, if you use the note a sharp to

embed the commands, you can't use that pitch elsewhere in your conversation. Personally I find it easiest to

drop my pitch slightly on the embedded commands.

Also, when you're embedding a phrase such as, "Buy me presents," the words don't have to be together in the

sentence. They don't even have to be in the same sentence. They can be spread out through a paragraph.

I saw a gorgeous Ferrari go buy. To me it seems that some cars have a presents of their own.

Also remember that you should embed commands at! East three times each. They don't have to be in the

exact words, but they should be similar. It's easier for the unconscious to take the command at this point than

it is to fight it.

Exercise 1 - Embed the phrase "Give me a wild ride," into a paragraph about a safari in Africa. No more than

two words of the phrase can be side by side in the paragraph.

Exercise 2 - Think of phrases that you would like to embed. Then think of a different subject to write about

where you can embed the phrase.

Just remember to use a pleasant state that goes with the commands that you're embedding. For example, you

wouldn't talk about the most disgusting thing you ever did and embed commands about having a wonderful

experience together.

Ambiguity

You may have noticed when I was talking about embedded commands that I used the word "buy" in place of

the word "by." This is called a phonological ambiguity. It can be two words that sound alike, such as bear

and hare. It can also be two words that sound like one word, such as in trance and entrance. You see the

unconscious has to take the word and reference back to all the meanings it has. In random conversations this

means very little, but when you're embedding communards and stack phrases which are on a certain subject

the unconscious wile figure out what you really mean.

Remember that the words don't have to sound exactly alike. If you were to substitute the word hue for the

word you in the stream of conversation 99.9% of people would never notice the difference.

Exercise 1 - Sit and write down at least 100 phonological ambiguities.

Pausing

The use of pausing when you speak is extremely important. It can make

A person anticipate your every word. Or it can make

you seem. . . .uh. . . .stupid. There are a few times when you can as a rule use pausing.

One is when you want to keep a person in suspense and anticipate what you are going to say next. Second is

when you want to make a point of a particular word or phrase. Third is when you're using punctuation

ambiguity. For example, when you say "... when you feel that. (pause) With me (pause) I the pause might

only be slight in this case but the unconscious mind will hear it and know the difference.

Exercise 1 - Get a tape recorder and read language patterns, poems, articles, etc. into it. Listen to yourself

noticing

Where you pause and where you can improve.

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