DifficultCustomers.pdf

Dealing With Difficult Customers

Sue Baughman, Organizational Development

Learning Curriculum Team

Difficult (dif-ĭ-kult) adj . 1. troublesome, perplexing.

2. not easy to please or satisfy. (Oxford American Dictionary)

Customer (kus-tŏ-měr) n “the people who receive your work.”

(The Team Handbook)

If you consider the above definitions you will probably begin thinking about a recent

situation where you had an unpleasant experience or seem to be working a cross

purposes with a “difficult customer.” This experience might have been with an external

customer you helped at one of the Libraries' service desks. Or it might have been an

exchange with a colleague that did not go well. What is a difficult customer to you may

not be a difficult customer to someone else but we often describe this type of person as

someone who is angry, passive-aggressive, a complainer, unresponsive,

confrontational, a know-it-all and so forth. No matter how you characterize a difficult

customer, the interaction generally causes discomfort, unease, frustration or stress.

Have you experienced one of these situations?

You are a supervisor and one of the staff you supervise is having difficulty completing

assignments by deadline. You tried to give this staff member feedback and time

management strategies during a recent discussion. The staff member became

defensive and would not speak to you for a week.

You and one of your colleagues have a good working relationship but lately the

colleague has begun to complain about what seems to you to be everything at work -

the job, the organization, the boss, etc. You have tried to help and offer advice.

Nothing is working and you no longer enjoy being around this colleague.

A faculty member complains about not receiving the materials he requested saying

that the staff person "assured me that the materials would be here in a week."

There is a student that frequents the library and it seems as though each time you

help this student you have to repeat the same information over again. Your feeling is

that this student does not want to learn the steps you suggest for doing research. The

questions this student asks are not unlike others you hear but this particular customer

tends to “push your button.”

How do we cope with these situations? At one time or another you may have handled

the interaction is one of these ways:

Ignore it and hope it goes away.

Stress about it, not sure what to do or say and then possibly make yourself ill

over it. You might even take the chance of losing a friend or colleague

because you don’t do something.

Confront it such a way that the situation becomes worse and escalates into

something else.

A better action is managing any of the situations described above or one that you have

experienced by using a set of steps that will resolve an interaction successfully. This

four-step process can help with those difficult customers. While the steps are described

in linear fashion it may be important to spend more time on one step or move back and

forth between steps. The key is to create a way for you to have a dialogue with that

difficult customer.

1. Inquire . Use active listening skills to solicit information and build an understanding

of what the situation is about. Pay attention to your verbal communication behaviors

such as tone of voice, clarify and paraphrase the customer’s statements, and use

phrases such as “I see” or “Go on” to encourage dialogue. [See the July 18, 2003

Library Matters article, Can You Hear Me Now? ] The nonverbal communication

behaviors are just as important so focus on positive body language that demonstrates

interest in the customer. Behaviors such as crossed arms, pointing, frowning or

scowling are not helpful.

2. Empathize . To show empathy is especially helpful in an emotionally charged

situation. Empathy also helps you demonstrate understanding of the customer’s

feelings. A key strategy in this step is to communicate that you can relate to how this

person is feeling and you do this by using “I” statements such as:

“I appreciate your frustration….”

“I understand you doubt….”

“I share your concern…”

This can also be an opportunity to let the customer know that perhaps you felt the same

way at one time. In the course of your discussion it may be important to express how

this customer’s actions have affected you, again using “I” statements. This will be

particularly true in dealing with the internal customer relationships.

3. Ask Permission . This step focuses on asking the customer if he/she would like to

hear information. This gives the customer some control over the situation in order to

decrease his/her tension. Asking permission questions shows that you are doing your

best to reach a common ground of understanding. Several examples include:

“What information can I provide you?”

“What would be helpful?”

4. Explain or Offer Choices . This is the opportunity to resolve a problem if

appropriate or to offer several actions from which the customer can choose a solution.

It can also be the time for you to explain a policy or procedure in a different way by

adding new information. The key to this step is to move towards a mutually agreed

upon course of action.

“Would it be helpful to you if we….?”

Each of us can identify a “difficult customer.” Human nature wouldn’t have it any other

way. In fact, we may be the cause of the difficulty but find ourselves blaming someone

else. How we handle these situations is critical because they can cause other difficult

situations. We do have control over our own behaviors and using effective

communication skills fall within that realm.

Sources used:

Scholtes, Peter R., Brian L. Joiner, and Barbara J. Streibel. The Team Handbook. Oriel

Incorporated, 1996.

Skinner, Merna L., “Confrontational Communication.” The 2001 Annual: Volume 2,

Consulting. Jossey-Bass/Pfeiffer, 2001. [The four-step model is described in this

article.]

Smith, Kitty. Serving the Difficult Customer: A How-To-Do-It Manual for Library Staff .

Neal-Schuman Publishers, Inc., 1994.

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