how.i.met.your.mother.s05e18.hdtv.xvid-fqm.txt

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[8][32]<i>Lily has always|been one of those people</i>
[32][53]<i>who loves their birthday.|Loves it.</i>
[64][96]It's my birthday!
[133][162]<i>So it's a good thing|she married Marshall.</i>
[172][206]It's still my birthday!
[206][231]<i>Because he loves|planning birthdays.</i>
[231][260]<i>Feliz cumpleaños, baby.</i>
[260][284]The theme of this today's|birthday breakfast
[284][303]in bed is...
[303][321]"Spanish Interlude"
[321][338]⪠âª
[338][355]Ooh!
[355][374]And...
[379][390]How on Earth did we end up
[390][422]in the lyrical rolling hills|of Northern Spain?
[422][434]Yay!
[434][462]Baby, tonight is going|to be so much fun.
[462][473]Just the five of us,
[473][494]black-tie dinner,|and Ted is picking up
[494][517]your favorite cognac pumpkin|cheesecake from Edgar's.
[517][527]Yay!
[527][539]Okay, I am off
[539][565]to run your super secret|birthday errand.
[565][577]Yay!
[577][606]And I'm taking|this guy with me
[606][626]because I don't like the way|he's looking at you.
[626][645]Yay.
[670][684]A new camera!
[684][711]Oh, thank you, Marshall.|I love it!
[711][724]Well, little bonus:
[724][754]I took some naked pictures|of myself before I wrapped it.
[754][767]Put a bow on it.
[767][782]There wasn't a bow on it.
[782][809]Wrong "it."
[809][823]Thank you, honey.|I'm going to get
[823][846]some great shots of our|little group with this.
[858][871]<i>Now, kids, you've seen|your Aunt Lily's</i>
[871][897]<i>photo albums:|leather bound,</i>
[897][915]<i>acid free paper,</i>
[915][938]adorable handwritten captions.
[938][968]<i>And most importantly,|the group shot.</i>
[968][983]<i>Cute photo, right, kids?</i>
[983][999]<i>But what you don't see|is what happened</i>
[999][1022]<i>ten seconds|before this picture was taken.</i>
[1022][1048]Okay, I want to get|the perfect group shot.
[1048][1064]Marshall, sit between|Barney and Robin.
[1064][1084]Why?
[1084][1101]Oh, you know,|uh, light,
[1101][1121]color, balance, aperture...
[1121][1135]You're just saying|camera words.
[1135][1153]Wait- you don't want|Barney and me
[1153][1171]to look like a couple|in this picture,
[1171][1185]do you?|Of course I don't!
[1185][1198]You two aren't going to last!
[1198][1210]I'm going for timeless here.
[1210][1228]How dare you?
[1228][1240]That is so rude!
[1240][1251]It's true.
[1251][1263]Totally true-|we're running
[1263][1282]on fumes here,|but still rude.
[1290][1316]<i>We hated Lily's group shots.</i>
[1326][1355]Okay, maybe I get|a little bossy,
[1355][1376]but I just want|to remember those times.
[1376][1390]Like tonight.
[1390][1415]I can't imagine|a better birthday than,
[1415][1444]than being here with just|my four best friends.
[1444][1464]Yay!
[1464][1488]And Ted's here now. Yay!|Oh!
[1519][1539]Happy birthday!
[1539][1557]This is Amanda.
[1557][1587]And Amanda... yay.
[1728][1756]Ted, you were supposed|to bring a cheesecake,
[1756][1772]but instead you|brought two grocery bags
[1772][1789]and a woman we've|never seen before.
[1789][1809]Hi. I'm Marshall.|Welcome to our home.
[1809][1820]Start talking.
[1820][1842]Amanda's going to make|Lily a cake.
[1842][1853]She's a chef.
[1853][1869]We met when I was|at a restaurant
[1869][1890]last week and I sent|some soup back.
[1890][1908]Lucky, she's got|such pretty hair
[1908][1924]I didn't mind eating|a little bit of it.
[1924][1943]They call me|"The Shedder" at work.
[1943][1982]I'm so glad you're|making my birthday cake!
[1982][2000]<i>In honor of Lily's</i>
[2000][2016]32nd birthday,|I've got
[2016][2046]a lot of great games|planned, starting with...
[2046][2067]"Lil-ial Pursuit."
[2076][2091]Okay, who's|got number one?
[2091][2103]I do.
[2103][2115]Of course you do.
[2115][2137]Okay, Amanda|goes first.
[2137][2154]32 seconds on the clock
[2154][2198]to answer as many questions|as possible. And...
[2203][2216]Go! Question one:
[2216][2228]What is Lily's favorite color?
[2228][2257]Well, she's wearing pink,
[2257][2275]so I'm going|to say pink.
[2275][2285]Okay, that's Robin.
[2285][2301]Oh, uh...
[2301][2314]Her...
[2314][2338]favorite color is...
[2338][2357]elbow.
[2365][2396]I believe Ted was mouthing|the word "yellow."
[2411][2430]Which also|would have been wrong.
[2448][2491]This game is called|"Gilding The Lily."
[2491][2507]Nice.|Thank you.
[2507][2520]Okay, you've all|written down
[2520][2539]your favorite things|about the birthday girl.
[2539][2566]And Lilypad,|you guess who wrote what.
[2566][2576]"Lily makes
[2576][2588]"everyone in her life,
[2588][2603]from her friends|to her students..."
[2603][2616]Lily's a kindergarten teacher-
[2616][2629]that's what he means|by "students."
[2629][2639]"...feel loved.
[2639][2654]"She makes the best
[2654][2666]"oatmeal raisin cookies ever,
[2666][2686]<i>can recite every line|from Goonies..."</i>
[2686][2712]<i>Lily saw Goonies in the theater|right after her parents separated.</i>
[2712][2734]For a long time after that, she|had real trouble trusting people...
[2734][2756]Ted!
[2756][2777]"And she's the strongest person|I've ever met.
[2777][2801]"I can't imagine|my life without her.
[2801][2817]I love you, Lily."
[2817][2841]Aww... Robin!
[2841][2857]Of course it was me.
[2857][2873]Come on.|Aww, that's so sweet.
[2873][2901]Okay, Lily,|you try to guess
[2901][2920]who wrote this.
[2977][2994]"You seem really nice."
[2994][3018]Oh...
[3018][3034]I'm going|to guess Amanda?
[3034][3053]No, that w me.
[3056][3075]And I meant every word.
[3078][3106]Well, I should get back|to that cake.
[3106][3128]Okay, let me know|if you need anything.
[3162][3177]All right, quick!|Let's do the group photo!
[3177][3192]Everybody gather|around the fireplace.
[3192][3217]Oh, uh, hang on, I'll, uh,|I'll let Amanda know.
[3217][3234]Oh, no, that's okay.|She's busy in the kitchen.
[3234][3251]Let's not bother her. Come on.
[3251][3267]Hey, hang on a second.|You...
[3267][3293]You don't want Amanda|in the photo, do you?
[3293][3311]No, no, it's just, you know,
[3311][3339]auto-focus,|shutter speed, zoom...
[3339][3360]Lily, what's going on?
[3360][3374]Who wants a party hat?
[3374][3400]Hey, look!|Look, I'm a bird!
[3400][3420]Let's all be birds.
[3420][3433]Lily, tell me the truth.
[3433][3451]No, of course not.|I'm not going to let
[3451][3493]another one of your dumb skanks|ruin my precious memories.
[3557][3574]Lily, what are you|talking about?
[3574][3598]Ted, you always do this.
[3598][3618]You bring girls|that we barely know
[3619][3635]to all our big group events.
[3635][3655]I do not.|Oh, really?
[3655][3678]Oh, well, let's just|take a little walk
[3678][3703]down Random Skank Lane.
[3703][3731]Or, or we could just|keep on a-strolling down
[3731][3749]Best Birthday Ever Avenue.
[3749][3777]Do I get a vote?|Skank Lane! Skank Lane!
[3777][3805]Hey, hey, guys. I've composed|a song for the evening.
[3805][3827]Follow along.|The chorus goes like this:
[3827][3848]⪠Happy, happy Lily day âª
[3848][3861]⪠Happy, happy|Lily day... âª
[3861][3881]Christmas morning,|four years ago.
[3881][3929]Our first Christmas together,|just the five of us.
[3929][3951]Ooh, Ted, here's another|fun little trivia me.
[3951][3979]It's called:|Name That Bitch.
[4005][4042]It's, it is Sa... San...
[4042][4063]Wrong. You're|thinking of Santa,
[4063][4080]'cause it was Christmas.
[4080][4102]Fun fact- each year,|my mother has Easter tea
[4102][4121]with her friend Bunny.
[4127][4146]Okay, not that fun.
[4148][4159]I remember her name.
[4159][4170]It's Sarah.
[4170][4195]Close. It's Leilani.
[4195][4215]She just had to come|to Christmas because you said,
[4215][4237]"Guys, she might be the one."
[4237][4256]And she's|not the only
[4256][4280]"might be the one."
[4280][4302]New Year's Eve, 2007:
[4302][4326]Barney, Lily, Robin,|Ted, Marshall
[4326][4350]and "She's the One" Emily.
[4350][4372]Robin's Uncle Cecil's funeral:
[4372][4402]Marshall, Lily,|Robin, Barney, Ted and...
[4402][4423]"this just proves|you find the one
[4423][4445]when you're not looking" Isabel.
[4445][4463]My appenx surgery:
[4463][4492]Robin, Marshall,|Barney, Lily, Ted, and...
[4492][4521]Well, this one you admitted|you were just trying to bang.
[4521][4543]Respect.|Oh, hey.
[4543][4558]Remember this yoga instructor
[4558][4573]you brought|to my birthday last year?
[4573][4587]⪠You. âª
[4587][4599]Thank you.
[4599][4612]Thank you.|Oh, my- oh, my God.
[4612][4629]You guys are not going|to believe who just came in.
[4629][4648]Don't look.|Don't look!
[4648][4661]Why aren't you looking?!
[4661][4682]It's Slash|from Guns N' Roses!
[4695][4725]Okay, okay, group shot.|Group shot!
[4731][4745]And we got it.
[4745][4780]We got a picture|with Slash on my birthday.
[4780][4801]Awesome, right? Right?
[4801][4816]We were there.|We know how this ends.
[4816][4835]Wrong!
[4844][4861]You know what's funny|about this picture?
[4861][4878]He was grabbing my ass.|Really?
[4878][4898]He was grabbing my ass, too.|He was grabbing
[4898][4919]my ass, too- how many hands|does that guy have?
[4919][4940]No wonder he's such|a good guitarist.
[4940][4971]Actually, I'm sorry dude,|I thought that you were Lily.
[4980][4992]Wait a second.|Look at these pictures again.
[4992][5015]Barney has the same pose|in each shot
[5015][5041]and these are,|like, years apart.
[5091][5104]Ah, yes, about that:
[5104][5129]I never take a bad picture.
[5129][5145]Never have, never will.
[5145][5174]There has to be|a bad picture of you.
[5174][5188]Nope, not one.
[5188][5200]What about from|elementary school?
[5200][5217]Everyone has bad|pictures from school.
[5217][5236]Not the Barnacle.
[5252][5267...
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