Chaomeba_Pact.pdf

THIS IS THE DNA OF THE CHAOMEBA

(The set of instructions to create the organism disorganization called a Chaomeba)

WHAT IS A CHAOMEBA? (part 1)

The Chaomeba is a living organism of messy chaos, bizarre ideas, and strange people. Or messy

people, bizarre chaos, and strange ideas. Or messy ideas, bizarre people, and strange chaos.

The Chaomeba is any of various aquatic or parasitic freeloaders, having no definite form and

consisting of a mass of members containing one or more sets of instructions surrounded by a

flexible outer society. It moves by means of pseudo-intelligence.

The Chaomeba is a network of magicians, shamans, sorcerers, witches, psychologists,

philosophers, theologians, nerds, geeks, dorks, hackers, knights, fighters, protectors, punks,

skinheads, anarchists, hippies, stoners, couch potatoes, vegetables, fruits, rotten eggs, tarts, and

other tasty foods/tasty people who wish to join.

The Chaomeba is a chaotic people who like/are interested in/are devoted to chaos magic. It is a

group with no central leadership, so long as you follow this set of instructions. If the group is an

ameba, consider this the DNA, the instructions to create this and many other amebas.

The Chaomeba is a sick excuse for brainwave activity invented between a Thursday night and a

Friday morning.

The Chaomeba is a large shape-shifting mass of stuff you donÓt wanna know about. It moves, it

changes shape, it grows, devours other groups in its cytoplasm, excretes an ooze-like substance,

sometimes makes you sick, and over all is completely gross and fascinating to observe (it gets

even more gross and fascinating after you join).

The Chaomeba was invented by the Great Exister.

WHO IS THE GREAT EXISTER?

Existing is good.

Therefore, the Great Exister is great. (You can call the him/her/it ÐI AMÑ) But somebody out

there doesnÓt want you to exist. That somebody wants to bring the end of existence. The Great

Exister is all for change, he/she/it loves change, and would love to see economies collapse and

empires fall. It claps happily when things happen. But nonexistence is bad. The Great Exister

doesnÓt want the universe and the world to cease to exist. But somebody wants to immanentize

the echaton. That somebody is called I AM (NOT). He/her/it wants to bring about the End.

He/her/it is very bad. We know this because we know that existing is good. How do we know?

The Great Exister said so. The Great Exister came up with the idea of existing. Complaints may

be filed in the forms of cash, check, credit, or money order.

WHAT IS A CHAOMEBA? (part 2)

The Chaomeba is the individual members

The Chaomeba is a group of members

The Chaomeba is all the groups of members in the world put together

The Chaomeba is the world

The Chaomeba is also everything else, too

So your diagram should look something like this:

WHAT DOES THE CHAOMEBA ACTUALLY DO?

To be

The Chaomeba has a strong will to not cease to exist. It is generally accepted (at least generally

accepted by all Chaomebas who accept this view) that existence is a good thing. Therefore, it can

also be reasoned that to not exist is a bad thing. Therefore, any Chaomeba worth his/her/its salt

should do his/her/its best to exist in one form or another forever.

To eat

The Chaomeba is always looking for new food, er, uh, I mean members. Therefore, go tell

everyone and their cousin to join, including the neighborÓs dog. Every one even remotely

interested is encouraged to join. Members will receive cheap merchandise from the Chaomeba

after becoming part of our protoplasmic regime. Merchandise may be invisible, intangible,

and/or non-existent. In the case of the latter, this will demonstrate why it is so good to exist, as

mentioned in the above point.

To survive

Survival is a good thing. Know this if you plan to live through, avoid, or avert the end of the

world. Some groups claim that the end of the world is a good thing. True, the end of economy

and government might be good, but to end the world and end existence and end all life is not

good. The end of the world is coming very soon, therefore, we must learn how to stop it, avoid

it, avert it, or survive it, because as mentioned in point one, existing is good.

To reproduce

Creating more Chaomebas is a good thing also, because it spreads the goodness of existence. The

argument goes something like the following:

If one existing is good, more existing is better. Therefore, if more existing is also better, even

more existing is even better. ThereforeÈ

Èand so on and so forth. There are two methods to reproduction. In the first method, simply

make copies of the DNA of the Chaomeba (this document) and leave the DNA in a place where

there are rich deposits of potential members. They will feel compelled to create their own

Chaomeba. (This is also a method of feeding for some Chaomebas) In the second method, the

Chaomeba may get too large to be called a single Chaomeba, therefore it will split into two

Chaomebas (this process is called Chaotic Mitosis).

To evolve

After the End is stopped, avoided, averted, or survived, the Chaomeba can evolve. It is not a

good idea to evolve beforehand, because when disasters happen it is usually the simplest

organisms that survive. Remember that meteor that killed the dinosaurs? Well, it didnÓt happen.

But aside from that point, do you remember what organisms thrived and evolved right after?

ThatÓs right, simple, single celled organisms. And what about the dinosaurs? The ones who

evolution supposedly favored? Whammo, dead. Therefore, if you wanna survive the End,

postpone your evolution until after the End. If you want to stop the end though, maybe it is a

good idea to evolve beforehand into something stronger.

To evolve you need only to do the following:

1. Reproduce often (this goes for both the Chaomebas and its members). Each new

Chaomeba will eventually decide to amend the DNA of itself, therefore over time there

will be a lot of different Chaomebas. The best Chaomebas will continue to exist.

2. If any organism ceases to exist, the DNA for that Chaomeba must be destroyed and not

allowed to be reproduced (this goes for both the Chaomebas and its members)

HOW TO JOIN

a) I want to join because I want to exist, and I would like to meet other like-minded

individuals.

b) I want to join because I do not like the End, and would like to stop/avoid/avert/survive it.

c) I want to join because I like the cut of your jib, and/or would like to pay the inventor of

this a large sum of money to keep quiet.

Than, obtain a copy of the DNA and keep it with you, perform all of the activities listed, and

claim yourself to be a Chaomeba in your own right. Eat, survive, evolve, and reproduce (though

not necessarily in that order). But most of all, exist.

Or not. If you donÓt want to exist, than you donÓt exist. In that case, you wonÓt be a problem for

much longer.

RENOUNCE YOUR FAITH IN THE I AM (NOT)! FUCK THE ECHATON! EXISTING IS

GOOD!

Not copying and distributing this document STRICTLY is prohibited.

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