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FELBERG ENGLISH READERS
Kiler
A crime comedy based on
a JULIUSZ MACHULSKI film
screenplay by PIOTR WEREŚNIAK
SIMPLIFIED EDITION
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FELBERG ENGLISH READERS
Kiler
A crime comedy based on
a JULIUSZ MACHULSKI film
screenplay by PIOTR WEREŚNIAK
INTERMEDIATE LEVEL
Adaptation and Exercises: Jerzy Siemasz
Series Editor: Adam Wolański
Warsaw 2006
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Reviewers:
Aneta Gondro
Aldona Stepaniuk
Copy editor:
Natica Schmeder
Production editor:
Barbara Gluza
Cover designer:
Andrzej-Ludwik Włoszczyński
DTP:
A.L.W. GRAFIK
© Copyright by Studio Filmowe ZEBRA
© Copyright for the English language adaptation
by FELBERG SJA Publishing House, 2001
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be
reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted
in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical,
photocopying, recording or otherwise, without the prior
written permission of the publisher.
Printed in Poland
ISBN 83-88667-05-X
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CHAPTER ONE
A crowd gathered at the end of a busy street in front of an
elegant pub. A section of the street was cordoned off with yellow
tape. Inside there was a TV crew, an ambulance, a body bag on
a stretcher , and cops. There was a TV reporter on the scene,
of course, a blonde by the name of Ewa Szańska. And she was
pressing a paunchy cop for details. “. . . shot with a sniper’s
bullet, Andrzej G. alias Guillotine is the fourth victim this year.
I’m talking to Inspector Fish of the Central Police Station. Is
this a gang war?”
A PO came up to the inspector, who stopped him with
a gesture.
“In five minutes . . .”
“I don’t get it,” said Ewa.
“Sorry, what was the question again?”
“Is this a gang war?”
“No gang war whatsoever, but a contract killing .”
“The elusive Killer again? When are you going to arrest him?”
“The police have their own agenda .”
“How many more victims until you get the legendary Killer?”
The inspector turned to face the camera, to address the
viewers.
“Ladies and gentlemen, there’s no cause for alarm. There’s
no Killer whatsoever. It’s a media invention.” And he said this
with an accusing glance at Ewa.
The assistant cameraman tried to stop the stretcher-bearers.
“Where are you taking him? Wait! We aren’t finished yet!”
But the bearers ignored him. So he turned to Ewa and the
inspector.
“If not Killer, who is killing then?
stretcher nosze in Polish; paunchy having a large belly; PO police
officer, policeman; contract killing killing of a victim by a gangster
paid for it; elusive difficult to catch; agenda a list or a plan of things
to be done
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“ Man proposes . . .”
The inspector turned on his heel and left.
“. . . God disposes ,” the cameraman finished the saying.
“One more shot of the victim and we are finished,” said
Ewa.
“But he’s been carted away !”
“How could you let him go?”
“ Hon , I concentrated on you and the inspector.”
“Does it have to be Guillotine himself?” the assistant
wondered.
“Let me find someone whose name starts with ‘G’”.
“Who?”
“Just anyone who’s gawking or something.”
“So you blew it again,” Ewa concluded, handed the assistant
the microphonee and left. A while later the assistant asked
a smiling fair-headed man in his thirties standing in the crowd
of gawking persons.
“You want to be on camera ?”
“No. Why?”
“You mean you really don’t want to be on camera?!!!”
“No, thanks.”
“Look, man, I’ll give you 100 zloties. Just lie down for a while
and play a stiff . Under a cover. They won’t see a thing.”
“Maybe another time.” And the man backed off.
“No volunteers,” said the amazed assistant to the cameraman.
“Well, why don’t you jump into the bag and lie down?”
“In front of all those people?”
“Who cares, anyway.”
“Let me take off my shoes at least. Guillotine was barefoot.”
The smiling man walked up to a parked cab on a side street.
He got behind the wheel. A smartly-dressed man was taking
a nap in the back seat. The taxi driver cleared his throat to wake
Man proposes, God disposes Człowiek strzela, pan Bóg kule nosi in
Polish; cart away to transport in an unceremonious manner; Hon short
for Honey, here Kochanie ; gawk to stare stupidly; blow it [ Informal ]
to ruin, make a mess of, spoil something; on camera televised by a live
camera; stiff [ Slang ] a dead body
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