Keys To Becoming Confident.pdf

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LEARN HOW TO BE CONFIDENT

When it comes to dating, confidence is the underlying biggest ‘turn-on’

for people. There is no denying that confidence is sexy and people are

attracted to it. Not only that, but it will also help you ask for a date.

But there is good news for

those who lack confidence –

Confidence is a skill people

learn. It is not part of the gene

pool, so no one is born with it.

Confidence is also tricky. Too

much confidence can come

across as arrogance, but if you

don’t have enough confidence

people may treat you like a

doormat.

What is unusual about

confidence is that you can fake

it until you make it. In other

words, if you put on a confident

front it can help make you feel

confident on the inside and

when you start to feel confident

on the inside it is obvious on

the outside.

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CONFIDENCE GUIDELINES

• Consider your posture

• Smile

• Have a firm handshake – When you meet someone for the first time

in a new situation, confidently hold out hand and give a firm

handshake. This applies to both men and women.

• Use positive eye contact – When

you look someone in the eye you

are telling him or her you are strong

and confident. Note: Don’t turn it

into a war of wills, or a staring

contest, and remember to look away

occasionally.

• Use a strong voice – The sound we

produce with our vocal chords can

be strong, powerful, smooth, sexy,

etc. It is a great instrument. It also

says a lot about who we are; that is,

speak too softly and people may

assume you are afraid to speak up.

A simple guide for speaking is

breathe, speak slowly and speak up.

• Use your Diary of Victories –

Refer to the section on page 5.

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SELF-ESTEEM

Confidence is ultimately an expression of self-esteem.

Self-esteem is definitely something you can work on.

Try these suggestions to boost your self-esteem:

• Do something challenging – Do something you would normally

think you couldn’t do. That might be as small as reading Romeo and

Juliet or as extreme as doing a sky-dive. Whatever it is, push your

boundaries and when you succeed at it you will like yourself more.

• Do some volunteer work – Besides being a great way to help others

and meet potential dates, you will garner appreciation for your work

and who you are. This is certain to boost your self-esteem.

• Practise positive self talk –

Every day we look in the mirror

at least once and some of us

forty times or more. Each time

we look in the mirror we tell

ourselves things. The self-talk

can be positive or negative.

People tend to be negative in

their self-talk, but we do have a

choice. Make an effort to say

positive things about yourself

when you look in the mirror.

• Every day we all look in the

mirror at least once and some of

us forty times or more. Each

time we mirror-look we also do a

self-talk. The self-talk can be

positive or negative. People tend

to be negative in their self-talk

but we have a choice.

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DIARY OF VICTORIES

By keeping a Diary of Victories you will build up your self-esteem. It will

help increase your confidence and chances of dating.

• Buy a book to use for a Diary of your Victories.

• Write in the book when you feel good about something in relation to

dating and/or succeed at a task.

• Read this Diary of Victories at the end of each day.

• Carry the diary with you and read it whenever you need to feel good.

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