55_The Importance of Right Relationships.pdf

Volume XIV, Issue 5

L EGACY

OF D EREK P RINCE

The Importance of Right Relationships

In the natural, if you are to have a symphony two things are certain: You must have a score, and

you must have a conductor. In the spiritual realm, if you are to have symphony, you must have

the same two things. The score is the will of God; the conductor is the Holy Spirit. In Matthew

18:19 we read: “If two of you agree on earth.” The Greek word for agree is precisely the same

word that gives us the word symphony . It is not mere intellectual agreement; it is harmony,

concord. It is two or more people being united in one spirit. When people come together in

one spirit, in harmony, agreeing on the will of God as revealed by the Holy Spirit, then anything

they need is accessible. This is a real promise, but you have to meet the conditions.

ometimes people say to me, “Come, Brother

Prince, let’s agree. We’ll pray for so-and-so.” I

sometimes feel embarrassed because I think it is a

shallow pretense and that it will not produce the

results. Agreement is not just saying, “We agree.”

Agreement is being in harmony in the Spirit with one

another, and as we come to this place of real spiritual

harmony, we are irresistible. Because of this, the devil will

do everything in his power to keep Christians from coming

into this place, and he has largely succeeded with

multitudes of professing Christians.

I trust that I will not shock you by saying that the

church, which is the body of Christ, is not an earthly

institution. Generally speaking, Christians have felt obliged

or impelled to produce some kind of institutional

organization through which they can tie themselves

together to achieve unity. Yet the truth of the matter is, this

does not produce the kind of unity God intends for the

body of Jesus Christ.

Under the Old Testament, God had a tremendous

problem with His people, Israel. He had revealed Himself as

One who could not be adequately represented by any kind

of portrait, picture or image. The attempt to make an image

of God was strictly forbidden. But we find again and again

that Israel fell into the error of making an image or idol and

saying it represented God.

I believe a corresponding mistake is made by Christians in

this dispensation. The body of Jesus Christ cannot be

represented institutionally. It cannot be represented as an

organization of the kind that we are familiar with in secular

life. But time and again, Christians try to make something

visible and tangible out of that which is spiritual. They try to

T HE T EACHING

Volume XIV, Issue 5

produce an organization, a union, a

tying together that will replace the

proper unity and relationship of the

body of Jesus Christ, and invariably

there is failure.

Take, for example, the Salvation

Army (and this is no criticism of the

Salvation Army). Within the Salvation

Army there is strong organizational

unity that is similar to that of an army.

And there is a further tying together

through uniforms so that you can look

at members and see immediately that

he or she is in the Salvation Army.

Everything man can do to produce

unity and organizational structure is

there, yet two people may be at

loggerheads with each other. So, far

from being in real union and harmony,

they may actually be in total

opposition. Two people may be in the

Salvation Army and one may be

converted and regenerated and the

other may be unregenerated. They

aren't even in the same spiritual

sphere!

Take for example the Anglican

church of Britain, in which I was

brought up. You could be a member of

the Anglican church and be

Communist or Roman Catholic.

Within that organization, bound

together by organizational structure,

there are diametrically different ideas,

totally opposed to one another, in

absolute disharmony, with no union

whatever in the spiritual life. The

church structure is an outward

substitute for the inward reality.

The great danger that I see is that

we often accept the outward as a

substitute for the inward, and then

neglect the inward. The result is that

today there are multitudes of

Christians within the body who are

in wrong relationship to other

people and they are not even aware

that anything is wrong.

One night in a service, five people

came forward for healing. I was led to

ask each person individually, “Is there

any unforgiveness or resentment in

your heart against anybody?” Out of

the five, three people said, “Yes, there

is.” I replied, “Well, do you really

want me to pray for you? I can go

through the motions, but what kind

of effect do you think prayer is going

to have?” And do you know what

they said? “We’d better go away and

put things right and then come back.”

Remarkable! But what was really

remarkable was that those people

were not conscious of the wrong

relationship. Why were they

deceived? Because they had allowed

some external substitute to blind

them to the inner reality. If we would

look at the inner condition of the

body of Christ today, we would be

shocked at what we saw!

joined and knit together by what

every joint supplies, according to the

effective working by which every

part does its share, causes growth of

the body for the edifying of itself in

love.”

In Colossians 2:19 in a similar

context, Paul speaks about Christ the

Head “from whom all the body,

nourished and knit together by

joints and ligaments, grows with the

increase that is from God.”

There are two things that Paul says

unite the members of the body: joints

and ligaments. Just as joints and

ligaments in the physical body keep

the members together, so they also

unite the members of the spiritual

body of Christ. What are the joints and

ligaments? I would suggest to you,

very practically speaking, that the

joints are the relationships between the

members of the body and the

ligaments are the attitudes that prevail

among them.

A person’s arm has three bones.

Though each one is strong and

healthy, their effective functioning

depends on a joint, which is called

the elbow. Each of these bones could

be in itself perfectly healthy, and yet

the arm could be very ineffective if

the joint did not function properly.

This is also true of the body of Christ.

Your individual stability is not all that

is required to make you effective.

Your relationship to others is the joint

that fits you into the body, and unless

your relationship with other people is

right, you cannot be an effective

member of the body.

Again in Ephesians and Colossians

Paul speaks about the great ligaments

Joints and Ligaments

If the outward union has nothing

to do with the inward spiritual

relationship within the body of

Christ, what is it that keeps the body

together? What is the true nature and

source of our unity? We find the

answer to this very important

question in two passages from

Ephesians and Colossians.

In Ephesians 4:16 Paul speaks

about Christ as the Head of the

body: “From whom the whole body,

the teaching legacy of derek prince | dpm archive

Volume XIV, Issue 5

that unite the whole body. In

Ephesians 4:3 he says to keep “the

unity of the Spirit in the bond of

peace.” The words bond and ligament

are the same in Greek. And

Colossians 3:14 says, “Put on love,

which is the bond of perfection”—

which keeps the entire body together.

The most essential bond or

ligament that can keep the body of

Christ together in true unity is love,

the second bond is peace. We are all

kept together as a whole by what I

choose to call “the attitude of peace

and love.” But when this attitude is

non-existent, the functioning of the

body is totally broken down. Where

we stand in wrong relationship to our

fellow Christians, the body cannot

function, nor can we receive what we

need ourselves. Not only do we shut

out others from the blessing, but we

are shut out ourselves. Yet my

experience in various situations and

among so many groups has been that

more than half the people in any

professing church congregation have

wrong attitudes and relationships to

other people, and quite commonly

these wrong relationships are with

other members of their congregation.

On one occasion, after preaching

in a certain Pentecostal church where

God really moved, I went to another

Pentecostal church and preached the

same messages. But at this second

church, nothing happened. I thought,

What's wrong? Do you know what I

discovered? It was a church of about

four hundred people who regularly

attended on Sunday, and yet the

church was divided right down the

middle. The people on my right hand

had not spoken to the people on my

left hand for five years. When they

approached one another in the street

they crossed the road in order to

avoid speaking. Consequently, for me

to preach to those people was a waste

of breath and time, since there was no

possibility of the Holy Spirit moving

in that church. Ironically, I have

found in so many similar

circumstances that the people in such

a congregation are ready to blame

their pastor or hire another evangelist

or do anything except the one thing

they must do, which is to get right

with one another.

the first commandment with a

promise is “Honor your father and

mother…that it may be well with

you” (Ephesians 6:2–3). You will

never have it well if you do not honor

your father and mother. It is contrary

to divine law.

The other area where this problem

is most prevalent is the husband/wife

relationship. The proportion of how

many husbands resent their wives

and how many wives resent their

husbands is amazingly large.

Let’s come back to the initial

statement: “If two of you agree on

earth.” Who are the two most obvious

people on earth to agree together? A

husband and wife. And how many of

them do agree? I wouldn’t like to

answer that! Many women are busy in

church activities just because they do

not agree with their husbands. They

run to the church, not because they

want to serve the Lord, but because

they want an escape from their

problems at home.

I remember praying once with a

young married woman for

deliverance. After she had received a

wonderful deliverance she said, “Oh,

Brother Prince, now I think I’m

going to be a missionary, or at least a

Sunday school teacher!”

I said to her, “Sister, listen to me a

moment. The most important

ministry is to be the best wife you can

be to your husband and the best

mother you can be to your children.

Everything else is secondary to that.

Get things in the right order.”

Many sisters come to me and say,

“Brother Prince, I have the baptism in

the Holy Spirit, but my husband

Family Relationships

It is a fact of life that potentially, and

often experientially, our most

dangerous, harmful, poisonous

relationships are with the people with

whom we are the closest. One

particularly common relationship

problem is that of young people and

their parents. I would venture to say

that the majority of young people in the

United States are in some measure in

opposition to or rebellion against their

parents, and, in many cases, the parents

have to acknowledge a major share of

the blame. The problem, then, is not

juvenile delinquents but also adult

delinquents.

Nevertheless, I always tell young

people: If you have resentment,

hatred, and rebellion in your heart

against your parents, remember, it is

not your parents who will suffer the

most—it is you. The one who resents

suffers more than the one who is

resented. Furthermore, Scripture says

the teaching legacy of derek prince | dpm archive

Volume XIV, Issue 5

doesn’t believe in it.” And I usually

reply, “Have you shown your husband

anything that will make him believe in

it? Have you become a better wife as a

result of the baptism? Has your home

become a sweeter place? Is there a

more loving atmosphere? Do you show

more care and consideration for your

husband than you ever showed before?

If not, don’t ask him to believe in the

baptism, because he won’t.” If all the

baptism does is make you go running

off to meetings, leaving your husband

alone, you are likely to be saddled for

the rest of your life with a partner who

does not believe what you believe.

The last word in the Old

Testament is a curse. And do you

know the cause of the curse? It is

explained in the verses just before this

last phrase: “I will send you Elijah the

prophet before the coming of the

great and dreadful day of the L ORD .

And he will turn the hearts of the

fathers to the children, and the hearts

of the children to their fathers, lest I

come and smite the earth with a

curse.” The Holy Spirit certainly

foresaw conditions at the end of this

age. And He unerringly put His finger

on the number one problem in the

United States today—the home!

There are broken homes with

children in rebellion, and wives and

husbands who cannot agree, who go

their own ways and neglect their

children.

I have known him, in order that

he may command his children and

his household after him, that they

keep the way of the L ORD , to do

righteousness and justice; that the

L ORD may bring to Abraham

what He has spoken to him.

(Genesis 18:17–19)

forces of corruption]. . . . It is then

good for nothing but to be thrown

out and to be trampled underfoot by

men” (Matthew 5:13).

That is where the church of

America is headed at the moment. But

it does not need to happen. The

remedy is: to repent, get right with

God, and get right in your home.

Don't go around offering the world a

solution to a problem when it does

not work in your own home. If you

haven't got more than misery and

disharmony to export, don't export it!

The church is so focused on the

ends of the earth that it cannot see

what is happening at the end of its

nose. The first thing we need to do is

to get right with the people closest to

home. Be reconciled. Lay down your

bitterness, your resentment, your

hatred. Start there.

The Lord chose Abraham because

He could trust him to be in a

relationship with his family such that he

would command his children and his

household to keep the way of the Lord.

The converse is equally true. Any

nation where husbands and fathers

fail to fulfill their obligations to their

families cannot remain a great and

mighty nation. That is true of the

United States. If home life does not

change in this nation, there is no

hope for it. The writing is on the wall.

I maintain that Spirit-filled people

with the full-gospel message should

have an answer to this problem. If we

don’t have an answer, then where can

the world look for an answer?

It is tragic indeed that there are

multitudes of so-called “Spirit-filled”

homes in which there is no harmony

between husband and wife. If I

understand anything, it is that the

people who are anointed by the Holy

Spirit have a message for their age. I

do not believe we need to sit back

with folded hands and say, “The

situation is out of control; there’s

nothing that can be done.” I believe

the solution is within the church of

Jesus Christ and that the church is

the salt of the earth, the light of the

world. But, “If the salt loses its flavor

[if it doesn’t change the situation,

refine the world, or hold back the

Adapted from a New Wine article en-

titled “The Barrier of Unforgiveness.”

We recommend Derek’s archi-

val video teaching on dvd:

Fellowship

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And the L ORD said, “Shall I hide

from Abraham what I am doing,

since Abraham shall surely

become a great and mighty

nation, and all the nations of the

earth shall be blessed in him? For

Derek Prince Ministries

P.O. Box 19501

Charlotte, NC 28219

704.357.3556

www.derekprince.org

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