Dragon Magazine 013.pdf

Vol. 2, No. 7

The Dragon Vol. 2 No. 7

This is the first of our monthly issues. It also marks the third story

Contents

by Gardner Fox published by THE DRAGON.

In honor of April Fool’s Day, we have included in this issue a fea-

ture on silly songs to sing, ala-MAD Magazine, while adventuring. We

would be most interested in seeing more like these, but only is they are

fit to print. In honor of one of my own characters, a number of the

players here composed a bawdy ditty entitled “Tim, The Lusty Druid”

that is definitely NOT suitable for reprinting. We don’t need any more

of that nature, nor will we publish them, unfortunately. There are

simply too many readers of TD that are too young for a “dirty D&D

songbook,” and we certainly don’t need any nasty letters from any

Features

How Heavy Is My Giant — Common-sense physics for D&D. . . . . . 5

THE DRAGON’s Observance of April Fool’s Day —

Silly Songs for D&D ’ers ala MAD . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .16-17

Creature Feature Contest #2 — Paint that Monster. . . . . . . . . . . . . .21

The Stolen Sacrifice — S&S by Gardner Fox. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 22

mommy-monsters.

Variants

You are all invited to attend our SPRING REVEL here in pic-

The Bionic Supplement — cyborgs in MA . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 8

turesque Lake Geneva on April Fool’s Day Weekend. See the ad on

Demon Generation —

the preceding page for more details. These small cons are quite dif-

ferent in tone from GenCon, being far less commercially oriented and

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 11 more playing oriented. For one thing, we on the staff get lots more time

to play and judge than we would normally at GenCon.

Design/ Speaking of GenCon, this year’s edition is being held a little way

Sorcerers Scroll — reg. column tackles Tolkein in D&D . . . . . . . . . . 8 away from Lake Geneva for the first time in many years. The reasons

for the shift are many and varied; we did not make the decision lightly.

The Japanese Mythos for D&D

As anyone that attended last year can tell you, GenCon X was a smash-

WARLORD — correcting a few flaws . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .19 ing success at the Playboy Resort. However, even their fine facilities

Designer’s Forum

Notes from a Semi-Successful D&D Player — tips on plays . . . . . . . 30 were strained to the utmost with the sheer volume of last year’s shindig.

This year’s location is the campus of Univ. of Wis-Parkside, in

Kenosha, WI. More on that as the date draws nearer.

Dragon Mirth TSR (Periodicals included) hopes to be moving into new quarters

Finieous Fingers . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 28 in May. It remains to be seen what effect the move will have on us here,

Wormy . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 29

but if planning ahead is any guarantee, we should make the transition

without your noticing it. We are planning to move into a building sig-

nificantly larger than the one we presently occupy.

On page 5 of this issue, you will find a curious color ad. The story

behind the story makes for fascinating telling in itself. The Harold Shea

adventures remain some of the most highly recommended material that

a DM could possibly hope to read, dealing as they do with parallel uni-

verses and mythology. THE GREEN MAGICIAN is the last of the

Harold Shea stories, and has been out of print and unavailable for well

over 20 years. It is our deep pleasure to announce that this lost classic

will be reprinted in TD in two parts (its nearly thirty-thousand words

long) beginning in TD #15, inaugurating our third year of publishing.

Publisher — E. Gary Gygax

Managing Ed. — T. J. Kask

TD Editor — T.J. Kask

LW Editor — Joe Orlowski

Art Dept. — Dave Sutherland

Dave Trampier

Tom Wham

Circulation Mgr. — Joe Orlowski

Cover — by Tom Canty

If your mailing label says “TD 13” — this is your last issue . . . resubscribe

Publisher’s Statement

THE DRAGON is published monthly by TSR Periodicals, a division of TSR Hobbies, Inc., POB 110, Lake Geneva, WI 53147

It is available at better hobby shops and bookstores, or by subscription. Subscription rate is $9.00 per 6 issues, $18.00 per year. Single copy and back issue price is $1.50, but availability of back issues is not

guaranteed. Subscriptions outside the U.S. and Canada are $20.00 per 6 issues, and are air-mailed overseas. (Payment must be made in U.S. currency or by international money order.) All material published

herein becomes the exclusive property of the publisher unless special arrangements to the contrary are made. Subscription expiration is coded onto the mailing list. The number to the right of the name, prefixed

by “LW” or “TD” is the last issue of the subscription. Notices will not be sent.

Change of address must be filed 30 days prior to mailing date.

Unsolicited material cannot be returned unless accompanied by a stamped return envelope, and no responsibility for such material can be assumed by the publisher in any event. All rights on the entire con-

Second-Class Postage paid at Lake Geneva, WI 53147.

fooling players who’ve memorized G, D-G & H . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

HOW HEAVY IS MY GIANT?

SHLUMP DA ORC

The weight, chest size and torso length columns have two units of

measurement to help you visualize how large these giants really are.

An important note: These weights and sizes are based on the propor-

tions of an average human male. This means that from 6’ to 30’ the

measurements given are proportionally the same as the 5'8” man. The

30’ giant will look exactly like the 5'8” human only taller. These mea-

surements then, being based on an average human will give you an

average giant as long as the giant retains the same proportions as the

human.

The normal human we’ve used has a shoulder length of 18” (the

same as his torso length); this is average. If that human had a shoulder

length of 2 1/2 feet, that would change his weight and chest size. The

same is true for giants. Not everybody’s giants look the same. Some are

squat and thick, others broad shouldered and narrow hipped. Unfor-

tunately the formula only works for the average, proportionally

human-like giants. Those of you with different shaped giants must

make your own compensations. All of the information derived so far is

based on the assumption that the physical, chemical and biological

make up of the giants are identical to normal human standards. Some

Dungeon Masters might want their giants to have hollow bones or three

hearts, etc. Any change from the human norm may possibly affect the

giants weight.

Over and Under weight giants. Again based on the 5'8’ man his

average weight is 160 lbs. but if he were 130 lbs. he would be 20%

lighter than normal. A 30’ tall giant weighing 20% less than average

would weigh 18,836 lbs. A 5'8” man who weighs 200 lbs. is 25% more

than average. A 30’ tall giant who is 25% heavier than average weighs

29,587 lbs. (almost 15 tons). If you need a lighter or heavier giant base

it on the 5'8” man. Find the percent of increase or decrease. ie., 160 to

130 = -20%, 160 to 200 = +25% etc. Multiply the giants normal

weight by the percent and add or subtract the result with the average

weight. (Don’t forget the percents’ decimal point)

The Refined Formula: For those of you who wish to find out the

weight and sizes of a larger giant (perhaps a Talos sized giant) this is the

formula we used.

First multiply the height of the giant (in inches) by .5588, this re-

veals the chest size (circumference) in inches. Then multiply the height

in inches by .2647 this gives the torso length (in inches) of the giant.

Have you ever wanted to know how heavy a giant is or how much a

giant can pick up? (loud refrain — “Anything he wants to”) Well, the

little Kobolds at TSR spent many hours of brain work and reams of

paper-work to come up with an answer. Unfortunately they didn’t

come up with one answer, they came up with many answers. (De-

mocracy at its finest.) None of the Kobolds could remember how to do

the scientific law about doubling the size and cubing the mass. So we

couldn’t use that one to help us.

Of all the answers we came up with we used the one that appeared

most reasonable. We used the formula that was created by our smartest

Kobold, mainly because none of the rest of us could understand it!!

Apparently what he did was base the weight on the increased volume of

the torso. As a giant gets taller his torso lengthens too.

Einshtein, our smartest Kobold, based his formula on an average

human male, 5'8” tall with a 38” chest size, an 18” torso length and

who weighs 180 lbs. Then he figured that this portion of the body

amounts to 35% of the whole body. Through diabolical methods he

discovered that a cubic foot of a human body weighs 47 lbs. Using all

of this information he created a formula and calculated the following

weights, chest sizes and torso lengths.

Height

in Feet Pounds

Weight

Tons

(appx.)

—

1/4 ton

1/2 ton

3/4 ton

1 ton

11/4 ton

1 1/2 ton

1 3/4 ton

2 1/4 ton

2 1/2 ton

3 ton

3 1/2 ton

4 ton

4 1/2 ton

5 1/4 ton

6 ton

6 3/4 ton

7 3/4 ton

8 1/2 ton

9 1/2 ton

10 3/4 ton

11 3/4 ton

Chest size

Torso Length

Inches Feet

5'8"

160

38"

3'2"

18"

19"

22"

25"

29"

1’6”

1’7”

1’10”

2’1”

2'5"

185

40"

3'4"

300

47"

3'11"

450

54"

4'6"

630

60"

10’

11’

12’

13’

14’

875

1,175

1,510

1,930

2,240

2,950

3,600

4,340

5,120

6,050

7,010

8,140

9,075

10.675

12,130

13,700

15,425

17,275

19,250

21,400

23,660

67"

6'2"

32"

35"

38"

41"

45"

2'8"

2'11"

3'2"

3'5"

80"

6'8"

87"

7'3"

94"

7'10"

15’

16’

17’

18’

19’

20'

21'

22'

23'

24'

25'

26'

27'

28'

29'

30'

100”

8'10"

48"

51"

54"

57"

60"

4'3"

4'6"

4'9"

114”

9'6"

120”

10’

127”

10’7”

11’2”

11’9”

12’4”

12’10’

13’5”

134"

141"

148"

154"

161"

64"

5'4"

67"

5'7"

70"

5'10"

73"

6’1”

76"

6'4"

168"

14’

79"

6'7"

6'11"

7'2"

7'5"

7'8"

174"

14’6” 83"

181"

15’1” 86"

188"

15’8” 89"

194"

16’2” 92"

201"

16’9” 96"

74"

5'7"

107”

8'4"

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