5 - Intro - Module 5 - Paul and Jenn - Transcript.doc

Jen & Paul: Draft

Robbins Madanes Film

7/2/04

DVD Transcription 2-20-05

TR              Tony Robbins             

CM              Cloe Madanes

AH              Anthony Hopkins

M              Narrator

J              Jen

P               Paul

B              Brian

JS              Jen’s Sister

DVD Film             

M              The RobbinsMadanes Center for strategic intervention is dedicated to creating greater harmony and effectiveness in social systems ranging from families to corporations to government organizations, and to the development of a more cohesive and civil community.

Anthony Robbins is one of the world’s premier authorities on the psychology of leadership, negotiations, organizational turnaround, and peak performance.  In this series of films you’ll see a variety of his interventions as analyzed by Cloe Madanes, world renowned author and teacher of psychotherapy.

M1              Suicide is a solution to an economic dilemma.

M2              If I leave my wife, I’ll lose my identity.

F1              How am I meant to be true to myself if I have four children that rely on me and a controlling husband?

F2              And I don’t want to live my life this way.

TR              What are you trying to avoid losing by being gutless?

M3              Karen

TR              Now what if I told you that that very gutless is what’s causing you to lose her?

M3              I would believe it.

M              Two thousand people from 39 countries, these few will stand up to face their greatest life challenge and they will not let go.

M              Until a solution has been reached.  Narrated by master therapist, Cloe Madanes

M              Each film contains cutting-edge solutions for the challenges

M              That all of us face.  Anthony Robbins

TR              Somebody stands up, I want you to become the practical psychologist.

M              In a live, uncut

TR              Why are they doing this.  Ahh, they’re meeting this need, this, this need. Interesting.

M              Personal transformation film.

TR              So that when you leave here, you’ll have a greater appreciation for every human being you meet whether it be your child or whether it be the person you can’t stand.

M              See the films.  Do the work.

M              Change your life.

AH              Hi, I’m Anthony Hopkins.  I’ve played many roles in my life through my long career, but now I’m playing the role of a lifetime.  Myself.  And, this came about through Tony Robbins.  The most dynamic human being I’ve ever had met.  He changed my life as he can change yours.  Doesn’t matter what you are, who you are, or what you have, this man can change your life as he’s changed mine.  By the way, I am not being paid a penny for this. I’m doing this as a gift to give back to Anthony Robbins because he gave me so much.  And, he can and will do the same for you.  That I promise.  So, stay with me and believe me this will change your destiny.

CM              This is a story of a very nice couple.  Two people who cared for each other deeply.  The problem was they were making each other miserable and they didn’t know why.  Sound familiar?

              The fact is that often nice people in nice relationships are doing terrible things to each other. Watching this film can mean the difference between life and death for your relationship.

              Millions of people separate and divorce each year with great suffering to themselves and their children when actually their relationship could be turned around in one hour. 

              In this film you will learn how to block the patterns of misunderstanding and estrangement and recover the possibility of truly loving each other.

              We begin our story at an Anthony Robbins conference for 4,000 participants.  People are standing up and sharing some of the fears that hold them back.

              Paul stands up.

TR              You’re afraid?

P              Yes.

TR              What are you afraid of?

P              A lot of things

TR              Okay, what you are most afraid of?

P              That if I leave my wife I’ll lose my identity, and my self worth and I’ll lose her love and love for myself.

TR              You probably will.  In fact it will be worse than that.

P              What do you mean?

TR              You’ll lose the identity that you have right now.  That you’ve built not only into whatever you think you are but you’ll fire off all your fears that you failed.  You will

              Do you have kids?

P              Yes

TR              Yes.  You’ll feel them hating you at times.  Um, you’re going to lose a lot of money more than you think (Laughter).

              Let’s see what else. (Laughter).

              Anybody else want to chime in here?

              Yes, what else?

TR              He’s going to have another guy bring up his kids.  He’s going to fall in love with another woman and make all the same mistakes all over again.

P              This is my wife.

TR:              Hi.  What’s your name?

J              Jennifer

TR              Hi Jennifer.  Jennifer this is a, a rather uncomfortable spot to be in.  Why’d you stand up?

              Give her a hand first of all, I agree (Applause).

J              Um, because I love him, and I, I don’t know but I was one of those people that said I wanted to go home this morning.

TR              I bet.  I wouldn’t blame you honey.  Why’d you want to leave this morning?  Food was that bad last night? (Laughter).

J              Um, because I wanted to go home and get love from my kids.

TR              Just by the way, this is what most women do by the way, is most women even marry a  man that, that is a good man but their not passionately in love with cause they know they’ll get that real love from their children they believe.

J              Well, I

TR              How many women, how many women know a woman who has done this?  Let me see a show of hands?

              But the problem is then you burden those children and then eventually they do grow up and there is a stage when you don’t feel their love either.

J              I just feel that my love for my kids is unconditional.

TR              I know.  How old are your kids?

J              Five and four.

TR              Wait a little bit (Laughter).

              Is your love for this man unconditional?

J              Yes.

TR              Is that your experience sir?

P              I think I’ve had a lot of struggles with physical attraction.  I think she’s got the most amazing eyes and smile I’ve ever seen in my life.  And, I try to tell myself that physically that was all that I needed and it wasn’t.

CM              Tony has asked Paul whether Jen’s love for him is unconditional.  Instead of answering the question, Paul puts the blame on himself for not being attracted to her.  This is reason to suspect that there is an acid rule in this couple that her love cannot be questioned.

TR              And, so, do you love this woman?

P              I love her deeply yes.

TR              How, how deeply?  You really need to be honest right now to be fair to her, and you, and everybody else in this room.  So I’m going to ask you to not give me the answer that just shows up right away.  I want you to really feel in your soul what’s real.  I do believe you love her by the way.  But I just want you to really really answer honestly. Is that fair?

P              Yes.  I don’t feel that she was the person I was meant to be with for the rest of my life.

TR              And, how, how many years have you guys been married?

P              Nine

TR              Nine...