0:02:11:You're going to die, you|have just two months. 0:02:18:Don't waste any more money, the|family will need it... Take him away. 0:02:21:Doctor, you shouldn't say that. 0:02:23:So who should? The ward boy? 0:02:25:I'm the doctor, I know it all. 0:02:27:But sir, there must be some hope? 0:02:29:There's no hope. 0:02:31:It's the last stage. 0:02:34:No treatment will help 0:02:36:If you want to waste money 0:02:37:Try a private hospital 0:02:39:We're short on beds here. 0:02:43:Sir you could have said the|same thing... with love 0:02:45:I'm here to treat them|not to love them. 0:02:52:But Sir, one should be|a little emotional? 0:02:54:Emotions make you weak 0:02:56:But your attitude|isn't right either 0:03:00:It's not? 0:03:02:Come. 0:03:06:You see how long this line is? 0:03:08:They're all waiting for me 0:03:11:If I was busy being emotional,|Even those with hope, would die 0:03:18:Instead of giving false hope|to those who are dying 0:03:21:It's better to save those|who can be saved. 0:03:44:It's Thursday, shouldn't|we be eating okra? 0:03:47:It wasn't available. 0:03:50:Ok. 0:03:56:Where are you off to? 0:03:58:Study group|- at a friend's place 0:04:01:Study groups-chatting|and laughing all night! 0:04:06:Like we don't know anything. 0:04:11:This is not a group apple. 0:04:14:This one's for your friends 0:04:18:He even catches the apple|like it's a cricket ball. 0:04:22:You can go. Go to sleep. 0:04:24:Thank you. Good night. 0:05:03:Where are you going? 0:05:08:Why? 0:05:10:What do you mean why? I have a job... 0:05:12:I've got to go. 0:05:13:For how long? 0:05:15:I'll be back in a week. I promise. 0:05:19:Will you miss me? 0:05:21:No. 0:05:22:What no!? Say yes... 0:05:24:Say yes, yes... 0:05:39:People say life's a game. 0:05:41:I say the game itself is life. 0:05:44:From the sadness of losing|to the sheerjoy of winning 0:05:47:Life is what lies in between. 0:05:49:Well said. - Oops, I spouted|something profound! 0:05:51:Never mind. 0:05:53:It means a lot to me to have|you on my show today. 0:05:56:Thank you very much. 0:05:57:Thank you. 0:05:59:There you are ladies and gentlemen, 0:06:00:The one and only, Chinaman. 0:06:02:He was awesome in his time,|what an amazing bowler. 0:06:06:He was one of my favorites. 0:06:08:I have only one favorite Kapil Dev... 0:06:11:He just had to flick his collar|up, and the wicket would fall 0:06:16:Do you know who my favorite is? 0:06:17:Who? 0:06:18:Tendulkar 0:06:22:I don't know what|he keeps adjusting! 0:06:25:For me it's neither Shahrukh|nor Salman... 0:06:27:Only lmran. 0:06:29:I've met him 0:06:31:No way! - Really? 0:06:32:What's the big deal? 0:06:33:You've met lmran and you're|saying what's the big deal... 0:06:35:What are you saying dude? 0:06:36:While you guys spend hours|in buses and tubes, 0:06:39:I, as an lmmigration officer,|have to meet everyone! 0:06:42:Without my approval not a pin|gets in... and not even lmran! 0:06:48:You must have pictures...|show us some pictures... 0:06:50:Look, I meet him as a friend,|not some photo-hungry fan 0:06:55:He may be lm-ran, but|I'm lm-portant too. 0:07:01:Let's have another round. 0:07:02:Let's order. 0:07:03:Don't ask him, he's one of us. 0:07:06:Call the white guy- 0:07:08:I like ordering Brits around|in London; it gives me a high 0:07:12:I'd love to order something|every few minutes. 0:07:15:Ay-crikey 0:07:17:Sorry sir 0:07:18:Second round 0:07:20:I beg your pardon? 0:07:22:Don't look. Come here.|Second round. 0:07:27:It really gets their goat|when you call them crikey. 0:07:33:Mr. Hemendra Harshad Bhai Patel...|your next question 0:07:40:In the UK if you are|a witness to a crime 0:07:44:which number other than 999|can you call for the police? 0:07:49:Option A: 1000 0:07:53:Option B: 1100 0:07:57:Option C: 112 0:08:00:Option D: 111? 0:08:09:Option C 0:08:12:Right answer! And with that, 0:08:13:you are awarded citizenship|to the United Kingdom 0:08:19:And he scores! 0:08:29:Who are you calling? 0:08:30:I'm "calling a friend" like|on the quiz show... 0:08:32:No, I'm calling my older brother- 0:08:34:I should share the good news. 0:08:35:You just have my approval|and you're calling people 0:08:38:If they approve you, you'll be|shouting it from the rooftops. 0:08:40:Is that Jignesh? It's Hemu... 0:08:44:I'm his brother, from London 0:08:47:He's not home? 0:08:49:It's amazing, he's never home... 0:08:51:I wonder where his kids came from! 0:08:54:I tried his cell phone|but there's no answer. 0:08:59:Yes. Ok, tell him I'm about|to get my UK residence permit 0:09:05:And then I'm coming to India 0:09:08:What do you mean why? It's|mom's 60th birthday 0:09:11:We'll all celebrate together 0:09:13:Yes, please let Jignesh know 0:09:17:May god be with you... 0:09:24:Hemu have you lost your|mind? You're getting 0:09:26:your UK citizenship but making|plans to live in India? 0:09:30:Don't mess up my game 0:09:32:It's taken me 14 years to get here... 0:09:35:Now we'll go to India|whenever we want... 0:09:37:To our people 0:09:42:Whether they want us or not 0:09:45:What did she say? 0:09:47:It's ok 0:09:48:Your people! Who haven't|come on the line in 2 years 0:09:52:They hang up when|they see your number 0:09:54:Forget it dad, it's|not gonna happen. 0:09:59:They are my people, my family... 0:10:01:how can they forget me? 0:10:03:You know them... 0:10:04:When you come with me you'll see 0:10:08:Nothing is going to happen. 0:10:09:You're living in a piped dream dad. 0:10:12:Fine... fine... I love|to live in pipe. 0:10:32:Look, he's at it again. 0:10:36:If you're not white, they|practically strip you. 0:10:40:It's like they're measuring|you for your wedding suit 0:10:45:What can you do? Everyone pays|for the misdeeds of a few. 0:10:48:Not at all. It's all about|the colour of your skin. 0:10:52:Let have a bet. 5 pounds says|that boy there, he's in for it. 0:10:56:Who?|- The guy in the brown coat. 0:10:59:He looks like a geek but|they'll search him 0:11:03:like he's the godfather 0:11:07:See... They stripped him didn't|they. Gimme my 5 quid 0:11:11:Are you gujarati? From which|city? Ahmedabad? Baroda? 0:11:25:Why did you lie? 0:11:26:If I'd spoken in Gujarati he|would've come home for lunch 0:11:29:And tomorrow he'd tell everyone: 0:11:30:Hemu Patel is a janitor|at the airport 0:11:33:Anyway, don't change the subject,|Gimme my 5 quid. 0:14:19:Why have you brought me here? You|know I don't like Chinese food. 0:14:22:Just eat it... one meal|won't kill you. 0:14:25:Come... 0:14:35:Come, come and sit. 0:14:40:Namaste... I'm Sarabjeet. 0:14:42:This is my mom, my dad... 0:14:44:Mom, dad, this is Kashmira 0:14:48:Listen, we have decided that|we're getting married. 0:14:53:The rituals and stuff|are for the parents... 0:14:55:So you guys discuss|it among yourselves 0:14:58:There's no need to get flustered... 0:15:00:The world is changing... 0:15:01:Mom dad mom dad 0:15:06:I think we should leave|these guys alone. 0:15:10:We're off... we're|going for a drive 0:15:12:Go ahead and discuss stuff|in the meantime... 0:15:19:I guess it's no point inquiring|about the "girl's" 0:15:21:Educational background or|home-making capabilities... 0:15:25:Or, for that matter, about|our son's income... 0:15:28:We've just got to decide|the menu and the venue... 0:15:30:Absolutely if we knew your names, 0:15:33:We would've had the|invitations ready... 0:15:40:The bowler prepares, 0:15:49:The batsman is ready...|his forehead moist 0:16:03:And it's the first ball of the over 0:16:27:Forget this... the next match|depends on Tendulkar 0:16:30:And yourjobs depend on me. 0:16:35:This is your first and last warning. 0:16:37:Sir... cricket... cricket... 0:16:39:What do you mean,|"cricket cricket?" 0:16:40:The cricketer David Abraham|has been admitted 0:16:42:There are no VIPs and|no cricketers here... 0:16:45:They are all patients 0:17:09:This is India's tumour 0:17:14:Check for Creatinine, B.U.N. 0:17:17:and do a Urine culture 0:17:24:It's itching buddy 0:17:26:I see that 0:17:31:Who is that? 0:17:32:Dr. Satyajeet.|He'll be treating you. 0:17:34:Is he a good doctor 0:17:36:One of the best 0:17:38:A good person? 0:17:39:No comment. 0:17:41:If he's a good doctor he|must be a good person 0:17:57:Hi -Hi 0:17:59:You've lost faith|in the Indian team? 0:18:02:Not till the day I die. 0:18:04:But I've got to win the|trust of people here... 0:18:07:What do you mean? 0:18:08:I got the call. Tomorrow is my|final citizenship interview. 0:18:12:Ok|- Yeah 0:18:13:You'll see, that Brit will be|speaking Gujarati soon... 0:18:16:He'll call me Hemu bhai 0:18:18:But why are you|changing the posters? 0:18:21:Don't you get it? If they|do a surprise check 0:18:23:They should feel they are not|Indians. They're like us. 0:18:26:Then they'll accept us right away. 0:18:28:But why do we have|to put on a show? 0:18:30:What's wrong with us as we are? 0:18:33:If you attach a peacock's|feather onto a crow, 0:18:35:He won't become a peacock. 0:18:36:I'm not stupid, ok? 0:18:38:I'm not stupid. 0:18:39:In Rome do as the Romans... 0:18:42:Hence, Mother India goes out 0:18:45:Mama Elizabeth comes in. 0:18:48:You just wait and watch mom... 0:18:50:The dhokla is off to|become a burger 0:18:53:Next he'll change his name 0:18:55:From Hemu Patel to Harry Potter 0:18:57:Shut up 0:18:58:Shut up you stupid idiot! 0:19:02:I'm doing all this for you! 0:19:11:Not bad. 0:19:14:Your reports have improved. 0:19:17:Concentrate on mathematics 0:19:19:The vegetable vendors have|baby gourds these days 0:19:21:So replace Tuesday's gherkins|with baby gourds 0:19:27:How is the patient who|had mouth cancer? 0:19:30:Dead. We'd done a tracheotomy- 0:19:34:he was smoking cigarettes|through it. He died. 0:19:36:And the one who drank|the pesticide? 0:19:39:He's alive. He survived... 0:19:41:so n...
jarkomen09